can't...keep... up

... drowning in all of your blog posts! I'm still alive, just barely keeping my head above water this week.

Chillin like a villain!

That's what I should be doing anyway. Of course, being home, sans kids, I just cannot sit still. I'm sure I'll be paying for it when I go back to work on Monday.

Surgery day I was pretty tired, and I really didn't do much of anything that day. My mom stayed with us overnight to help with the kidlets, and the next morning I took advantage of her organizational skills. We got some of the little guy's clothes put away (I still had a basket full of 0-3s sitting around in his room taking up space), reorganized the bathroom cabinet/drawers, and reorganized the linen closet. It felt so good to get that done.

Today my dad came over for a visit. My sister came over too with my new niece. This was nice -- we don't see our dad much since our parents divorced. He lives just far away enough for it to be an annoying drive. Plus, he's remarried and has two teenage stepkids. I do try to make an effort, and I know he does too. Much more to be said there, but that's for another day.

Tomorrow I am getting a pedicure (whee!), and napping, and hopefully going out to dinner, if we can actually decide where we want to go. We are so horrible about that. I'm thinking Cuban... skirt steak with chimichurri. We were considering going to see Inception at the theatre, but my right shoulder is still killing me, so I don't think I could sit for two hours. Netflix, it is.

I was checking out my incisions today and realized I now have ten, yes TEN, surgical wounds on my stomach! Five from banding, one from a c-section, and four from the chole. Crazy. They put this glue-like stuff over top, so no stitches or anything. Even on the big one! It's like a two-incher. I guess that is where they pulled the gall bladder out. One of them is a little sore -- it is by far the best looking one, but it feels like it's bulging a bit. Maybe I'm imagining it.

I'm thinking picture post tomorrow too. You lucky ducks!

BYOC!

. Let’s brag a little….what’s the best perk you’ve ever had in your job (current or past)? Any employment counts - even if you’re a stay at home mom – you have perks (and the hardest job ever in my opinion).

I used to work at a web company where we had a pool table in the office, beer in the fridge (sometimes), and the managers used to take the whole lot of us to the bar almost once a month for appetizers and open bar. It was seriously the most fun I've ever had working. I miss that job, and not just because of the free booze!

2. Do you ever lie in your blog?

I don't think so. Maybe by omission, like Draz said.

3. What do you wear to bed?

I usually wear pajama bottoms (pants or shorts or whatever) and a random old t-shirt. I don't have any real pajamas, and I don't like gowns. Mike hates some of the t-shirts I sleep in, especially this one I've had since high school.

4. Where do you go for advice?


Mostly my mom and my hubs. There's a few people I work with too.

5. Repeat question. Make someone a superstar without using a blog award. What comment or blog stuck with you the most this week and why?

I haven't been keeping up very well this week with surgery and all. And my brain is just not absorbing anything right now. So, I'll just thank you all for the comments on my surgery post :) I promise to write more about that later.

Good riddance gall bladder!

I had my gall bladder out this morning, and all went well. I'm home, sleepy, and not in too much pain thanks to Darvocet. Four blissfill work-free days are stretching out in front of me, and I couldn't be happier! That left-shoulder gas pain is a bitch, though. I had forgotten all about it!

I feel a whine coming on...

I'm going to try to be objective here, if only to save my own sanity.

It's early  Tuesday morning. Why am I up in the middle of the night? Aside from my ever worsening sleep, tonight hubbo decided to eat too much pizza before he went to bed and woke up choking on some especially nasty acid reflux. Whenever this happens (not very often), I have to get up and manage the situation (make him take some pepto and prop himself up), otherwise he will come right back to bed and cough and burp all night. Tonight, after the "management," we were trying to go back to sleep, and he was moaning. I was all "what is the matter? Are you still feeling sick?" And he's all "No, I'm just sleepy." OMG, really? Me too. So, I moved myself to the couch, where I was still unsuccessfull at falling asleep. And here I am. Was that whiny?


Lately, I haven't been feeling very good. I'm not sure if it's my gall bladder (coming out Wednesday, by the way) or something else. Here's the lowdown, and you can tell me what you think: not sleeping well, hair falling out like crazy, extra tired, frequent urges to pee and nothing there, bloating and tenderness in my abdomen. I seriously got to the point where I thought I might have miraculously concieved (Mike got snipped in April, and I am on the pill), so I peed on a stick. Negative. Really, the odds would have been astronomical.

I don't know what my deal is. I've been trying to eat less junk, so I can at least eliminate poor diet as the cause. It really reached a high (or low) point last night. I was just feeling miserable. Who knows, maybe I will feel eight bazillion times better after surgery.

If you missed my last post, I have two pairs of size 20 shorts for the sisterhood. Check it out!

Shorts for the Sisterhood!

I have two pairs of size 20 shorts I would like to pass on.
1) Jean shorts by Style&Co (I think these are from Macy's?). They hit right above the knee on me (I'm 5'4"). They are just plain jean shorts, no designs, no pleats.
2) Khaki pedal pushers by Sonoma (Kohls). These have a seam down the middle of each leg, and they also have these little snap straps on the sides of the legs so you can roll them up to make them shorter and they stay that way.

 If you are interested, send me an email at leavingfatland at gmail dot com. Also, if you read this would you mind posting a linky on your blog? I don't have a ton of followers, so if no one here wants them, it'll get out to a wider audience.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 So, I forgot I was supposed to be blogging my food right now. I'll admit I've pretty much given up on the month of July. So much for those goals. My heads is just not in it right now. Only six more days till gall bladder surgery, then my fill on Aug 2nd, so I'll be back in the game soon. Maybe it's good to take a month off. Yeah, I'll keep telling myself that.

This is yesterday. It wasn't so bad.
B: 1/2 cup granola type cereal with milk, 1/2 Chobani yogurt
L: turkey sandwich
S: snack bag of Doritos, chocolate chip cookie (at different times)
D: about 3/4 cup of Teriyaki Chicken from PeiWei.

I've been terrible about getting liquids in, and it really needs to be a priority with this bladder infection. This morning I woke up at 4am to pee, then still felt like I had to go, so I couldn't go back to sleep. It's very annoying.

I guess it was that kind of day...

My mood was a little better today. Not sure where it's coming from, but I'll take it.

DH had a bad day at work today so he brought home some mint chocolate chip ice cream -- his favorite. I decide to have a little bit, and as I'm scooping some out (with a spoon, mind you. I'm too lazy to get the actual scoop), I fling a baseball size chunk of Mike's precious ice cream across the kitchen. Oh boy. Luckily for me he had already vacated the kitchen.

I mention the ice cream because I think I have mostly lost my taste for it. In the past, and especially while pregnant, I ate ice cream all the time. Now it sounds good, but once I get it in the bowl in front of me, I don't really want it. I had a tiny bit and dumped the rest down the drain. I have a horrible sweet tooth, and there is not much in the way of dessert that I'll turn down, but I guess ice cream is the first!

To top off my afternoon shenanigans, I woke up at 3:30 am to take a dump. How annoying is THAT? Now I'm wide awake, so I'm catching up on some TV and the blogs.

Two more days till the weekend.

This stuff only happens to me...

Just a short story for you before I go pick up the kidlets:

Today I went to the doctor because I have a bladder infection, and I need it taken care of before the surgery next Wednesday. I'm standing outside the bathroom waiting for another patient to come out. As he exits, he ... wait for it ... DROPS his pee sample and it SHATTERS! UM... SPLASHING me with PEE. GROSS!!@#^$&^%@#!

Okay. It was seriously disgusting. Luckily, I was still wearing my scrubs. I could tell the guy felt really bad, so I put on my professional face and told him, "Don't worry, I get splashed with much worse at work." Which isn't entirely true, as I mostly just come in contact with people's sweat and the occasional blood -- but usually with the proper precautions in place (gloves, mask, etc). Pee? Not so much. And all over my hand? Rarely. Ugh.

I could go on, but I need to go get my antibiotics!

OMG

I can't believe I haven't posted since Friday. *sigh*

I've been down in the dumps this week. Work is annoying, I've been arguing with our bank over some ridiculous overdraft charges, and I'm f-ing HUNGRY.

This too shall pass. At least I keep telling myself that. I don't even want to tell you most of what I'm irritated about because I'm pretty sure everyone around me is sick of my complaining, so why would you all want to hear it? I'm pretty sick of myself right now. Thank God for my hubster -- he is good at giving pep talks and helping me gain a different perspective on things. It helps.

That's all I've got for now. Hope everyone else is having a better week!

BYOC and what I ate

Happy Friday, friends! Two days later and my teeth are still sore from the great cavity filling of 2010. Yesterday I bit into a sandwich at lunch and thought I might actually pass out from the pain. Horrid. It's better today because I mostly remembered to chew on the other side of my mouth. Speaking of chewing...

Food for the day:
B: Iced coffee with splenda, chocolate apricot bar
L: one slice of cheese pizza with bruschetta on top.
S: Root beer (I know, I know)
D: 4 pita chips with 1/4 cup cucumber yogurt sauce, 1 piece of baked kibbee.

An improvement, but not great. I need more fruits and veggies.

On to BYOC!

1.  Love or money?  High salary or job satisfaction?

Love. Most definitely. Job satisfaction by far, though a nice balance would be good. I'm not there yet-- I haven't quite found my niche.

2.  What is your favorite time of day?




I love early morning. Yes, I am one of those annoying morning people. I love sitting on the porch when there is no loud traffic with a cup of tea and a book. Birds chirping, the sun not too hot yet, the whole day stretching out ahead of you. Love it.

3.  My in-laws just had their wills done so it made me wonder this.  Do you have a will?  Did you tell anyone your wish to be kept alive or not?

We don't have one yet, but I have been trying to convince the hubs that we need one. I'm most concerned about setting up guardianship for our kids should something happen to both of us. And I'll probably set up my Advance Directives before my gall bladder surgery.

4.  Repeat question.  Pick one thing for one day you'll do next week that aids in your physical or mental health.


My goal from last week was to go to bed earlier, and that went really well. I am much more rested this week, which is good since I have been really stressed. This week my goal will be for Monday when I will drink ONLY water and unsweetened tea. No juice, no coffee, no sugary drinks of any kind.

5.  Repeat questions.  Make someone a superstar for a moment...whose comment or blog stuck with you this week and why.

Can I pick one from today? I loved kagead's Questions, Rants, and Raves.

I also liked Janice's First Fill. The pics were great.

Accountability

I am struggling with this unfill. I am using it as an excuse to eat like a pig at lunch (really all the time). In the interest of keeping myself honest, I vow to report every morsel of food and drink that enters my mouth until gall bladder surgery.

Today...
B: Iced Grande Caramel Macchiato (see, I told you it was bad), Dannon Coffee yogurt (as if I needed more coffee after the Starbucks)
L: turkey, provolone, and arugula on foccacia with spicy mayo (I am addicted to this sandwich from the cafe at work and have eaten it no less than THREE times this week. Lord, help me.)
S: 1/2 piece of orange cream cake that a coworker shared with me.
D: Limeaid chiller from Taco Bell (I had a coupon for a free one. Shoot me.) And 6 tortilla chips with some cheese melted on them.

At least I managed to get in about 50oz of water on top of my other horrible beverage choices. No gym either because I had to use my precious post-work, pre-daycare pickup time buying new pillows because one of my cats decided to pee on the current ones. Cats can be such arseholes.

I can't talk right now...

My mouth is seriously still numb from having my cavities (yes, I meant it plural) filled this afternoon at 4:30. I know. It's taking forever. I just forgot for a minute and tried to drink out of a glass only to have water dribble down my chin.

First, let's examine how in hell I came to have a mouth full of cavities in my 30s when I haven't had a problem since I was like ten. Was it pregnancy? Was it being on the calcium-channel blocker for my post pre-eclampsia blood pressure? Did I eat too much junk food when I was preg? Do I just not floss my teeth enough. Is swishing my mouth with cola before I go to bed wrong? Just kidding.

Now let's talk about how I stopped to get myself a drink on the way home from the dentist thinking I would be ok to drink out of a straw. Not. So, I take a decent size slurp through the straw, detect a weakness in my lip seal on the numb side, try to clamp it down, and instead shoot an arc of tea about two feet away from me. That was the end of THAT! No dinner for me tonight, which is ok because I wasn't even feeling that hungry. I was also afraid that if I tried to chew anything I might actually end up chewing half of my cheek off. That would be gross.

Then... I know you'll love this... I went through the drive up at Walgreens to pick up a Rx refill, and the girl could not understand what I saying over the intercom! I had to go in and give her my license because it was simply impossible for me to properly enunciate the letters that make up my last name with my tongue and lip all numb and fat feeling.

Five hours later it is finally getting mostly back to normal. I finally feel like I can safely fall asleep without being in danger of biting off my tongue. That would be a bummer.

In weight news... I think my period is on it's last legs, and I peed about eight bazillion times at work today, so maybe the scale will be kind to me in the morning.

Good morning!

I hope everyone had a good 4th yesterday. We went up to my aunt and uncle's house on the lake. Weather was great, kids behaved. It was a good day.  I was absolutely dying to go swimming, but I didn't think my daughter would want anything to do with the water, so I didn't bother even bringing my bathing suit. Wouldn't you know it... all she wanted was to get wet! Stinker. Luckily, the water right over the sea wall is only up to my knees, so I rolled up my shorts, borrowed a swim diaper and baby life jacket from my cousin, and in we went! She loved it. 

I'll be honest with you guys... the other reason I didn't bring my suit was that my nether regions are so NOT bathing suit ready. I'm going to make some time to clear away the freaking jungle that has grown so I can perhaps consider the bathing suit when we go back to the lake in August. I don't think my bikini line has seen a razor since I got pregnant with #2. Sheesh.

My first week of unfill hasn't been too bad. I've noticed the food volume has gone up a bit, but the quality has gotten better. For example, this is what I ate yesterday:

B- one egg scrambled with a little cheese
L - A handful of raw veggies with dill dip.
D - 1/2 hamburger patty with bun, 5 olives, two bites of pasta salad.
S - Okay, so I had a piece of bumpy cake and a few potato chips throughout the day.

Not so bad though, really.

I was a little disappointed with my weigh in this morning (217), until I realized that I'm still down almost a pound and a half from last Sunday. I had that crazy drop from all my barfing early last week, and now I've bounced back. Plus, my period started this morning. So, a pound and half? I'll take it! I should probably adjust my ticker though. Boo.

Today, Mike and I are both off work for once, which is nice. My dad is coming over to hang a shelf in our bedroom. We had to get rid of our bookshelves when the little guy came along (no more room!), so my brilliant idea was to hang a shelf in our bedroom about 16 inches from the ceiling, out of the way of grabby little toddler hands. My dad said he had the perfect board for it, so this is kind of a late birthday present. I'm looking forward to unpacking all my cookbooks and knitting books again! It'll also clear up some space in the basement so I can continue the ongoing organization problem down there.

You've probably gathered from that last paragraph that I have a small house. It's a cozy 900 square feet. Now consider that when we got married we combined two households (I had previously owned my own house). My mom likes to say that we have "nine pounds of shit in a one pound box." We do. We are both collectors and we're both prone to being pack-rats. Now consider we have three cats and have added two kids to the mix. Yikes! Over the past couple years, we've been working hard to purge and downsize the junk, and I think we've done a pretty good job. We donated TONS of clothes (I had been hanging on to clothes I wore 12 years ago) and TONS of books (that was hard for me -- I love my books). We also have a giant pile of kitchen stuff that needs to go. Now that we're done having kids, I can slowly get rid of baby stuff as we finish with it. I have three or four things that are going on craigslist today, as a matter of fact. My ultimate goal is to have one half of the basement cleared out so we can make it an exercise/game room. We'll probably never actually "finish" it, but I'd at least like to be clean and neat.

Anyway, that's what is on my mind this morning.

By the way...

I was just noticing my ticker is almost at the halfway point. Shit, people! That means I'm almost halfway to goal!!! And that gin and tonic I just hammered was probably not necessary.

BYOC

1. Seeing that it’s a patriotic holiday of sorts I thought of this one: Where were you on September 11th?

I was at work. My office-mate had heard it on the radio, and we all tried to get on cnn.com to see what was happening, and it wasn't loading. So we headed across the hall to the breakroom to catch the news. Pretty soon, almost all 50 people who were in the office were piled in there. Some were crying. Most of us were in shock. Our boss told us to take the rest of the day off, so a bunch of us went to the bar and hung out together for an hour trying not to watch it over and over again on tv. When I got home, my roommate was home early too, so we grabbed a six pack and walked over to another friend's house. This is what sticks with me the most: there we were, sitting on their porch on an absolutely gorgeous Indian summer afternoon enjoying a beer and taking comfort in being with friends, all the while knowing something horrific beyond imagination was happening a few states away. I'll never forget what if felt to look up at the clear blue sky empty of air traffic and wonder about all the people in NY. It still makes me feel weird to think about it.

2. What is your idea of fun? If given the chance to skip work/life for an entire day, what would you do? (assume you’d be by yourself)

Fun for me these days would be having a chance to work on anything that has become impossible with two babies around. My perfect day would be watching a few movies, working on some knitting, reading, taking a walk, sitting outside in the sun, and basically doing what I want, when I want!

3. Suggestion from a follower. Some blog questions.

How many blogs do you follow? Just counted 83... that's just lapband blogs. I follow about twenty to thirty other random sites/blogs in my google reader.

Do you read them all or just your faves? I read everything that shows up in my Dashboard.

Do you comment a little, a lot, on all? I want to comment more than I do. Sometimes I don't feel like I have anything interesting or valuable to add, so I refrain, though sometimes I drop a note just to let someone know I was reading and cared. Sometimes I read at work (though that is becoming impossible), and I definitely wouldn't comment from there.

Have you ever unfollowed someone because of something they said or you didn’t like their blog? Nope. Though I did decide not to follow someone in the first place because I just didn't feel like I could relate on any level.

Do you routinely unfollow and why? I haven't "cleaned house". I don't have that big of a list yet, so it's still fairly manageable. However, the whole discussion does have me curious about who I'm following that's not really active.

4. Repeat question. Pick one day and one healthy thing you’ll do for just that day next week.

I totally failed last week's BYOC promise, so I vow to do better this time. This week, I will work on going to bed earlier. I've been staying up way too late, and this really hurts when the little guy gets me up at 1am!

5. Repeat "Make someone a superstar" question. Whose blog or blog comment stuck with you this week and why?


She's already a superstar, but Amy's coming out post was great.

July plans... I need 'em!

The last few days have been interesting. I've made some poor food choices, yet I got my workouts in. Don't even ask me what I had for breakfast today (Egg McMuffin). The scale is holding steady right around 215.8... less than a pound away from my next milestone of 60 lbs off. It's so darn close, and it's feeling like even more of a challenge because of the unfill. It's very frustrating because I know I've been "testing" my band again. Ever since I read Band Groupie's SOB story, I have vowed to stop that. She wrote, "The point is not to see how much you CAN eat after each fill, rather it's to see how LITTLE you can eat and still stay satisfied until the next meal" This really grabbed me, and after three and half years with this thing, that one little sentence changed my entire way of thinking. So thank you, Band Groupie!

Back to my bad habits. Because of this little backslide, I feel like I need to set some really good goals for this month, especially with surgery coming up. And because of the surgery, they need to not be all weight-related.

Gall bladder eviction is scheduled for the 21st, so I have twenty days to make the most of. After that, I will concentrate of maintenance for the last 9 or 10 days of the month, since I probably won't be able to exercise. My next fill is scheduled for August 2.

Goal 1: Workout at least 4 days per week, with at least two of those including weights. I did my 1 rep max workout yesterday, so I have my program all set up. I'll do Zumba/Pilates on Saturday mornings too.


Goal 2: No Sonic drinks for breakfast. I'll allow myself a treat now and then, but I really need to concentrate on good breakfast nutrition.


Goal 3: Okay, one weight goal. On 7/21, I will weigh 210 or less. Gives me chills just thinking about it!

In other news, I need to get my butt in gear and study for the second part of the EEG registration exams. I passed the written portion last October, and I would like to take the orals this coming October. I'm so NOT feeling it though. I know I need to suck it up and finish it (finish ANYthing), but most of the time I feel like it's either about my kids (they're still babies) or about losing weight. A person can only focus on so many things at once, ya know? On that note, how about...


Goal 4: Read over my board prep materials for at least 10 minutes a day, each work day. Even if I have to do it during lunch.

With that, I bid you all good night.