UGI report

I went for an Upper GI this morning, and I'm glad to report all is well. No slip.

However...

Even with a complete unfill, the "channel", as the radiologist called it, is narrower than it was 18 months ago with fluid IN. Weird! I was looking at the images of the barium going through, and I noticed that the stream of barium looked very very little. My original surgeon used to have us do a barium swallow with each adjustment, and I've been adjusted more times than I can count, so I've seen enough of these to know what I'm looking at. Being the awesome guy that he was, the radiologist didn't blow me off and went to pull up my images from last time. And he agreed. Much narrower. No idea why, but there it was. Someone from my fill doc's office called later this afternoon and said that there was nothing to worry about. He likes to read the images himself, which I appreciate. So, what do you guys think of that? Strange, isn't it? In case you're wondering, I have the 4cc Allergan LapBand. Does anyone else have this one? Seems like everyone is always talking about having upwards of 6 ccs in their band, and I have seriously never been able to tolerate more than 2 in mine. Even that is too tight.

With that info in mind, I'm keeping my portions small. Breakfast was 1 scrambled egg, 1 sausage link, and 1/2 a biscuit. That is more than I have been able to tolerate lately, but still a reasonably sized meal. Lunch was 10 tortilla chips with some cheese melted on and some salsa. I wasn't even hungry for dinner, so I just skipped it and drank another 30 oz of water. I guess I can consider myself still restricted. Goody!

It's gonna be a looooong five weeks.

Well, so long restriction. I got unfilled today. Le sigh.

It had to happen after this weekend's debacle. Truth be told, I'm looking forward to eating some chicken breast and broccoli for dinner tomorrow. I didn't go crazy today because I'm having an Upper GI tomorrow morning to check for a slip. I actually don't plan on going crazy at all. Must continue my downward trend!

So, I'll admit to being a little nervous and anxious about being empty for the next five weeks. These past few months have been pretty exciting for me in the weight loss department that I hate to think of it all coming to a grinding halt. Then, though, I remind myself that I can go all hardcore for a few weeks. Really, it's just two short spans of time. Three weeks until gall bladder surgery, then a few days of recovery, then two more weeks of hardcore. Add a little extra exercise in the mix, maybe the occasional food journaling, and I think this can be a success. I'll be thrilled if I manage to lose five or six pounds. Can you tell I'm giving myself a pep talk?

Slap me if you catch me in the Sonic drive-thru.

What to do, what to do...

I had a pretty bad stuck episode this afternoon. Bad enough to where I was throwing up my own saliva. Not good. I put in a call to my surgeon's answering service, and got one of the other guys in the practice who does not do lap band. Side note: my doc is in a general surgery practice, and he is, as far as I know, the only one doing gastric banding. So, this doc I talk to pretty much tells me I'm going to have to suck it up until tomorrow morning when Dr. K will be in the office. Um, what?!@ the!@% fuck#&%? I was all like, you do understand that I am dry heaving my own saliva and haven't had anything to drink for hours? And he was all, well if you get dehydrated then you'll have to go to emergency and they'll give you fluids. And I'm all, Oh, so I can dry heave all night in the ER with the added discomfort of an IV? Thanks buddy.

First of all, I'm appalled that none of the other surgeons in this group could be bothered to learn how to deflate a band. I mean, come ON. I could talk them through it if I absolutely had to. But no.

Second, I can't believe it, but the words actually came out of his mouth that my doc couldn't be bothered to show up at ER because "it's the weekend." Now, I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, but really? Really. I'll be asking my doc next time I see him about this. I can't believe there's no PA or resident or freaking ANYONE besides him who can do an urgent unfill. I mean, this is a big hospital in a big hospital system. Fuckers. It's ridiculous. And to think I work for this hospital system!

Lucky for them, things loosened up after a few hours, and I was able to drink some tea. I'm hanging in there for now. Liquids tomorrow, you can be sure.

So, now I'm questioning whether I want to look for someone else to handle my fills. It's annoying, to say the least. I don't want to make any rash decisions, but the lack of concern, well... concerns me. What would you do? Inquiring minds want to know!

Well, that's a bummer.

Maybe it was my comfort food, maybe it's muscle soreness, or maybe not enough water, but I had a hell of a scale bump today. All the way back up to 218.5. I'm sad. And I'll be drinking water like crazy.

I Zumba'd!

Well girls, I got my first taste of Zumba this morning. Holy cow! Jump much? Seriously though, I liked it a lot. I'm just glad the Saturday morning class is just a half hour -- I could barely do that! The second half hour was pilates, which was also a first for me. I've tried doing pilates tapes, but I never liked them much. It's so different actually having an instructor there to correct your form. Speaking of the instructor, I'm not sure there is a more perfect person to be teaching Zumba. She is tall, dark, and beautiful, a dancer, and, judging by her accent, of some kind of South American descent. Anyway, I hope to make this Saturday class regularly. My core could really use the pilates since the c-section.

BYOC

This comes from my post yesterday about me bragging that I can still wear the same earrings I wore in high school….got me to wondering…how many piercings do you have? (the ones you can tell us about anyway – *wink wink)

I have six. Four in one ear, two in the other. I actually just recently stopped wearing earring in all but the bottom two and my cartliage piercing. They made a new rule at work that you can't have more than three in one ear, so I just decided it was time to scale down. Plus, I don't feel so much pressure to coordinate all the holes now.

I've always wanted to get my nose pierced, but when I tried on a magnetic stud, I realized I look like a complete ass. Good thing I tried it on first.

2. I’m asking this one because I’m getting another tattoo soon…and even have plans to get one of a lizard – my little Draz – because this blog and you all have become a major part of my life. Anywhoozle – how many tattoos do you have? If you have none and wanted to get one – what would it be?


No tats yet. Not for lack of wanting though. In college, I almost got the Led Zeppelin Swan Song guy on the back of my shoulder. I still get an itch for one these days, but I'm not sure what it will be... I'll think about it more when I get close to goal.

3. If you’ve ever suffered from a weight-loss plateau, what’s your best advice to
get past it?

Definitely mix things up. More protein, less protein, more water, different exercise modalities. Just change something. Your body adapts, make it keep guessing.

4. This is a repeat. I liked last week’s challenge for BYOC and I saw a lot of people this week follow through on the promise they made last week. You pick one thing for just one day next week that you want to do….and mentally doing it for the one day can totally jump start more successes. And I feel like I can do anything for just one day.

This week I pick Tuesday to have my protein powder and juice before I leave work. I've really been bad about that this week, which is unfortunate because I really feel it makes a difference. Start the day good, and it gives you a little momentum to keep making good choices throughout.


5. Repeat *make someone a Superstar* question – what's your favorite blog or comment of the week?

I gotta go with Angie's SOB post. I just started following her blog, like yesterday, but I love love love our superstars and love reading all of their answers.

Checking in...

I had a craptastic day today complete with hurt feelings, slurpees, micromanaging, reprimands, screaming baby, and a brownie. Okay, so the slurpees and brownie weren't all bad, but I probably couldn't done without the brownie if I didn't feel like poo. But enough about that.

So, my June mini-goal? Done! 216.5 yesterday morning. Only 1.5 away from the 60 lb mark! Maybe by Sunday?

I feel like I should write more, but honestly, my brain is tired and I need to rest so I can get through my Friday.

About yogurt and my BYOC promise

I was just reading Gilly's post about Chobani yogurt, and I was moved to comment on how I buy the plain stuff (I think someone else commented about that too -- saves on carbs). Then I remembered this great snack blog I came across: Fix Me a Snack. There are so many good ideas there, and my favorite has been the Yogurt 101 series. It's all about how to fix up plain yogurt. I've just recently tried Peachy Blueberry Yogurt and Overnight Date Yogurt. Delish. There are so many good ideas there, and being that they are snack size, they are usually a perfect meal-size for a bandster. Check it out!

In last Friday's BYOC, we were to name something we would commit to this week. My thing was to bring my lunch from home instead of buying it. Well, I did it! Yesterday I packed. two slices of roast beef, two slices of swiss cheese, a handful of cherries, a handful of raw veggies... ok and a brownie. And I only at half of it for lunch, which means that the other half will be today's lunch. Done and done! Mike also bought me some turkey and cheddar so I can mix it up a bit. I'm thinking of trying garden burgers next week. No bun, of course. After work, I also made an appearance at the gym. Thirty minutes of hills on the treadmill. I love sweating!

We had some good thunderstorms here overnight. The thunder actually woke me up at 4am. I laid there for a half hour (that is my rule of insomnia -- if I'm still awake after thirty minutes, then I get up and do something), then I decided to catch up on the band blogs. So here I am, and off to work I must go.

Back to the ol' grind

This was one of those weekends I needed to last longer than two days. It really needed to magically stretch into four or five days. I still am not caught up on laundry, which makes me crazy. I like to have it all done by Sunday night.

It's a listy kind of night:

1. We had our Father's Day extravaganza today. Mike's parents, my dad and his wife,  and my sister and bro-in-law came over for a barbecue. Suffice it to say that good times were had by all, and I now have $50 to spend on some clothes that fit (late b-day prez from my pops).

2. I am setting myself up for success this week. I have plenty of lunch fixings, and I've even got my Monday lunch prepared and ready to go. Hopefully I won't forget it in the fridge tomorrow morning. Amazingly enough, my gym bag is also ready to go.

3. Mini goal check in. The goal: 217 by the end of June. Progress: I was 218.4 this morning, so I think I'll be showing this goal who is boss. Onward and downward...

BYOC and my first blog award!

First, I must thank Grace for nominating me for this awesome award! I don't even know how this works? Do I tell you 7 things about me like Grace did? I guess I shall...

1. I wasn't sure I wanted to have kids ever. I've never felt very "motherly". Then, when my cousin got preg with her second, I literally felt this wave of jealousy wash over me, and I announced to my hubby that I must have a child! Three years later, I have two, and I love it. And them. Enormously.
2. I could live on chips, salsa, and guacamole.
3. I have already had three careers (corporate trainer, web developer, and cardiovascular technician), and I don't feel like I'm done yet. I bore easily, and I always need to learn something new.
4. I like showtunes and classic rock. Lots of other stuff too, but those two the most.
5. I never paint my fingernails, but I always keep my nails neat.
6. I am a bit of a movie buff, especially old movies from the 40s and 50s. I get teased at work a lot about how many movies I've seen.
7. I have a secret dream of being a figure or natural bodybuilding competitor one day. I love muscles, I love lifting weights. I know it would be a lot of work on TOP of losing all this weight, but who knows? I have seen that amazing things are possible.

Seven people to pass it on to... and I'm late to the party here, so I'm sure some of you already have this. But I wanted you to have it anyway.
1. Stephanie at Dreams of Skinny High Heels
2. Fiona at The Incredible Shrinking Woman
3. Jenny at Embracing a New Path 
4. Debi at Hawaii Bound Bandster
5. Beth at I'm ready to become the woman I want to be for the rest of my life
6. Kagead at provoking practicality
7. T. Michelle at ...HotDogs N Hamburgers...



And now, as if you haven't had enough of me for one night, here's BYOC...

1.  If your heart had a singing voice, whose would it be?

My first gut response is Beth Hart. I have always loved her soulful raspiness, like she just had a shot of whiskey before she belted out the song. But really, I gotta go with Judy Garland. I'm not nearly as tortured a soul as she was, but she still has a hold on me. Maybe because we share the same birthday? Maybe because my mom always said I was born sixty years too late? Maybe I just like her songs, and I like to think if my heart was singing, it would be belting out something like, "Shout halelujah, come one, get happy!"

2.  What is your most disgusting habit?

I just asked my husband this question (about me), and he replied, "Oh my god, you have so many, I can't even begin..." So, I happen to know the top of his list would be how I kick my socks of while I sleep and leave them in the bottom of the bed in the covers. I swear the man nearly pukes if his foot touches them. I will also admit to peeling and chewing the skin around my fingernails. It's gross, I hate it. My mother used to tell me that no boys would ever want to hold my hand. Luckily, I married one who does the same thing. It's a stress response, I can't help it!

3.  Carmen and I were talking about Chicago and our fears...for those of you going (and those of you not you can answer as if you were going)...what is your biggest fear?

I guess my biggest fear is not fitting in with anyone, not finding some friends. I realize this is so ridiculous, especially because anyone who knows me would tell you I make friends very easily. I'm one of those people who will talk to you in the grocery line. I still have some social anxiety though. I also have a small fear of having too much to drink and making a total ass of myself -- though hopefully, if it does happen, I will have a few partners in crime!

4.  This isn't so much a question but a challenge.  Name one thing you will do for just one day next week in the name of health and commit to it on your blog and to us.

For one day, at least, I will bring my lunch to work. I usually buy from the cafeteria, and it's such a waste of money and such a lack of nutrients. I could pack a portion appropriate lunch and save some money to boot.

5.  Whose blog or comment stuck with you the most this week?

Sometimes this question is so hard! *sigh* This week, I will go with TJ's post about dieting.

Zumba, here I come!

A few months ago, in a weak moment, I let Mike convince me to cancel my gym membership. I knew this was going to be a mistake, but I tried to tell myself I would walk outside during the summer and use my resistance bands and dumbbells that I have at home. He argued that I hadn't been there in a while, which was true, but I had also had a rough pregnancy and was still recovering from a c-section.

Summer started out ok. If you read my first few posts, you can see how I was all gung-ho about doing the Couch to 5k program and some crazy 200 squats program. I do plan to revisit these things someday, but my body was just not ready for it. Walking became my main exercise (nothing wrong with that). Then, things got busy, like they do. Upon arriving home from work, instead of exercising, I would get distracted with chores and laundry and things like that. To sum it up, working out at home is not working.

Here we are a few months and minus 40 pounds later, and I'm really feeling the need to move and sweat. I want to do some bench presses and skull crushers and zone out on the elliptical for an hour. So, I put my foot down and said I was rejoining a gym. Luckily, the man knows what is good for him and didn't give me crap. I love him.


I stopped at my old gym on the way home from work, and the guy was awesome enough to give me my old rate ($20/month = cheap) with zero sign up fee. I could have kissed him! What's even better? Free group fitness including ZUMBA!!!!!! I'm so freaking excited for this! My mom has been raving about Zumba forever, and then I've been reading about all you guys going, and I knew I had to try it.

I just have to tell you... I went to take a tour of a Planet Fitness gym that just opened, and what a bizarro fucking place THAT is. Their whole thing is how they don't cater to bodybuilders and powerlifters, as if there is something wrong with doing either of those things. Especially the powerlifting, like they are going to kick me out if I whip off a clean and jerk up in there!?!? The best part is, they have this flashing light and horn that they set off if they catch anyone grunting or dropping weights or being generally annoying. And here I'm thinking, what if I let out a little grunt when I go for a heavy bench press or bicep curl? Are you going to blow your air horn at me? Really? No thank you. I do agree the dropping weights thing is annoying, but I always figured that crap goes with the territory. Maybe it's because I used to be a gymrat back in the day. Gym rats unite!

Word.

Update on my sister

She's home from the hospital and doing fine. Turns out she developed this crazy clotting disorder (DIC), and they got it under control. No hysterectomy necessary. She did need 5 units of blood though -- crazy times! Needless to say, we are all relieved and happy that everything turned out alright.

NSVs!

First, a small scale win. 219 this morning. Goodbye 220s! Onederland grows ever closer!

NSV 1: I broke down and bought new scrub pants today... in size L. Yes L, not X L. I believe this is my first non plus size clothing purchase! Two people commented on how my pants were practically falling off of me, so I figured it was time.

NSV 2: I don't think I told you guys this yet... I went to Kohl's last weekend and discovered my favorite t-shirts were on sale for 4.99. I caught a look at myself in my own clothes and realized how absolutely frumptastic I am looking. Know why? Because my clothes are too damn big! So I got new tees in a 1x instead of a 2x! Yay!

NSV 3: Sunday, I nearly walked right out of a pair of shoes! Shoes are too big! Who would've thought? Maybe losing all this weight will make up for the pregnancy spread.

NSV 4: Perhaps the best one. I realized today that my gut is no longer out past my boobs. And that is without sucking it in! I'm a happy camper today!

What a day...

We've had quite the rollercoaster today around here. My sister, who is a week post-delivery via c-section, started hemorrhaging today. Luckily, my brother in law got home right before she passed out -- on hold with her OB's office. Nice. He called 911, she's now in surgery, and all is well. I just heard from my mom, and the doc is pleased so far, but they might have to do a hysterectomy. Say a few prayers for her, if you will.

I am also headed back to the operating table. My gall bladder is scheduled to be evicted in mid July. I'll really have to kick it up before then, since it means a week or two of no fill. Eep! The good news is the surgeon can unfill my band right before the main event. I'm so thrilled with this because otherwise it meant going way longer unfilled just because my band guy is hard to get into. Whew! Now I just have to hope it's not a problem getting a few days off work.

Weigh-in!

220.1

Halfway to my next milestone of 60lbs down!

Sisterhood of the traveling underpants?

In my quest to find new undergarments, I bought a 3-pack at Target and they are just not doing it for me. I tried on one pair over my current undies, so there is no nastiness! I will post details soon along with some jeans. Oh yeas, people. I dug up some pantalones from our basement closet. I am fitting into 18s now, dontcha know. I think it's about time to say sayonara to my size 22 jeans from the LB. If this is sounding weird, it's because I just had me a big ol' margarita, and I need to go sleep it off!

BYOC

What was your first pet?
We had a dog named Muffy when I was a baby. I have very vague memories of her, but there are tons of pictures of us together. My mom says I used to call the dog "mommy-ommy".

2. When did you lose your virginity?
I was almost 20. It was a boyfriend in college. Randomly enough, he was roommates with the guy that I married and he even stood up in our wedding. Can you say "awkward"? Seriously though, so much time had passed in between that it really wasn't that bad -- we had both dated plenty of people in the meantime.

3 & 4 – I’m combining these two cuz this answer could be long. A follower (thanks Steph) asked if I could ask what a daily meal plan looks like for each of you – out of curiosity and out of possibly learning new foods to try.
Here's what I've been doing lately (and has allowed me to lose all my baby weight and then some).

Breakfast: I start work at 7, so I'm usually up at 5:30 and out of the house by 6:15. I'm tight in the morning, so I usually drink some watered down juice with a scoop of Nectar protein powder.

Snack: I start to loosen up and get a bit hungry around 9:30/10:00, so I'll have a piece of string cheese or yogurt and a granola bar.

Lunch: Lunch is touch and go at work. I get very stressed out at work sometimes and that makes me unable to eat. So, sometimes I'll have a half of a Lean Cuisine. Sometimes a cup of soup, sometimes lunch meat and cheese with mustard. And I usually try to have a little bit of fruit, even if it's just 4 or 5 raspberries.

Snack: I occasionally get snacky in the afternoon, and I'll admit to breaking down and having the random Snickers bar or another granola bar. Mostly though, this snack tends to ruin my dinner, so I try to just fill up on water or Crystal Light.

Dinner: Dinner is so random. We are working on getting better at planning, but it's been slow going. We are both foodies, so dinner might be anything from baked tilapia with steamed veggies to flank steak with gorgonzola and pears on a wrap. I don't really shy away from much at dinner -- I just figure I'm eating so little of it, it really doesn't matter. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Snack: I used to regularly have an after dinner snack, but I've really gotten away from that lately. Every once in a while I'll have a bit of ice cream.





5. Repeat question: What blog or blog comment stayed with you or stuck with you the most this week and why?
Hands down, I gotta go with Band Groupie's "Party in My Fat Pants". It just reminded me of what amazing things are possible.

Happy Birthday to me!

Yes, it's my birfday, or as my sister used to say, it's my smurf-day! I'm 34.

I totally forgot that I had set myself a mini-goal for today. Oops. I didn't make it, but that's ok. So the new mini-goal is to be 217 by the end of June. I'm 222.5 today.

Unfortunately, I think my band is too tight. I don't know what happened. Since my last fill, I felt pretty good and had excellent restriction. Now, suddenly, over the past few days, I gurgle like a mofo after every drink of water. Soup was a no go yesterday, and I didn't fare much better with salad today. Even my caramel macchiato this morning (birthday breakfast treat) produced lovely pterodactyl sounds with every sip. Let me tell you, the throat gurgle is very distracting when you're trying to take blood pressures all morning.

I have a few ideas. Maybe it's the weather. We've had a cool few days, and now it's back in the 80s. I've tried to stay hydrated, hoping that will help. I also switched my blood pressure meds on Monday. The new stuff is making me hella tired. It's going to take a few days to adjust. At least it's working though. I had been running in the 130s over 90s; today I got 116/72. Big drop.

Anyhoo, I must get some sleep now, so I'm not a zombie at work tomorrow. Can't wait to listen to my brand new Lady Antebellum CD in the car tomorrow morning!

Maybe more surgery for me...

The cafe at work had loaded baked potato soup today -- it is my favorite thing they serve. Well, it ain't workin' for me today! I think I had six or seven "bites" and just KNEW it was going to do me in. We were very busy this afternoon, so I most definitely did not have a half hour to stand over a toilet, spitting. No sirree.  It was about an hour before I even felt comfortable drinking again. So strange.

Thanks for the lunch ideas... keep 'em coming! Part of my problem is the planning, or lack there of. Something to improve upon.

Now, about the surgery... it's not band related. Thank God. It's the ol' gall bladder. I had some fairly bad abdominal pain about a year ago, had a full workup over two nights in the hospital. Finally, I had a biliary scan, and it showed my gall bladder has an ejection fraction of 1.5%. That is nothing. That is pretty much NOT functional. So, I saw a surgeon, but he wouldn't touch me because I don't have frequent gall "attacks." My thing is just a bloaty feeling with certain foods, sometimes stomach pain, and a bowel that is unusually responsive. For instance, my husband swears I am making this up, but if I eat plain M&Ms, I will be farting up a storm in under 10 minutes. He says it's not possible, but I have proven it on many occasions.

Fast forward to Monday when I saw my new physician (as of six months ago). We went over all my history, the band, the gall bladder, the ulcer, etc, and he thought I should get a second opinion on the surgery. I'll be seeing their surgeon this coming Monday. Should be interesting. Definitely NOT looking forward to having my band unfilled again. I'm actually considering having my band doc do the chole (if it comes to that), so he could do my adjustments right then and there.

We also switched my blood pressure meds from ProCardia to Lotensin, and I'm hoping that controls me a little better. I was really hoping that dropping 30lbs since giving birth would take care of it, but it looks like the pre-eclampsia has done me in.

And now, I need a nap. Mike is getting the kids from daycare, so I have a blissfully quiet 45 minutes ahead of me.

Snore...

Carbs, carbs, go away!

I have been tempting the PB gods this week. Noodles of some sort for lunch two days in a row (mind you, I could eat only five or six), pita bread with dip for dinner tonight... What is wrong with me? At lunch today, I microwaved a Lean Cuisine Pasta Romano with Bacon. Whatever, Maria. I mean, really. I think I ate six bowtie noodles before I got that hitchy deep breath that means DON'T YOU DARE PUT ANOTHER BITE INTO YOUR MOUTH DUMMY! So I didn't. And my lunch mates realized they are going to have to get used to my 1/2 cup lunches again. I hope they get it soon, because I hate hearing, "Is that all you're going to eat?" all the time.

Mike asked me what I wanted for my birthday dinner on Thursday. Would you believe I just couldn't come up with anything? Most of my favorites are not really tolerated by my band when it's tight. No pasta, no beef stroganoff, no steak. Oh boo hoo, poor me. And then, it hit me... cheese! I love me some cheese. Blue cheese, sheeps milk cheese, stinky cheese, cheese! I requested one or two kinds of fancy cheese and some fancy olives (I guarantee you after that salt-lick of a dinner I will not be winning the first week of the Hot Summer Meltdown). Yum! A glass of red wine, and I'm in heaven!

Back to lunches... I need some ideas. I don't like tuna, so the obvious is out. Sandwiches don't work (bread, remember?). Help me out, people!

Hot Summer Meltdown!

meltdown_start, originally uploaded by juno610.

Here we go!

Confession time!

I ate like absolute shite today. Let me tell you about it:

I had to take the little guy to the ear specialist this morning (he has some minor hearing loss in one ear). Took up every second of extra time showering so I stopped at Burger King for a BK Mocha Joe. It was good.

Got through that appointment in record time, dropped little man off at daycare (narrowly missed being spotted by my toddler who hubby had dropped off earlier), did three loads of laundry, de-cluttered the dining room table (junk MAGNET), and ran a few errands. Forgot to eat. While I love that that actually happens to me now, it does set me up for a day like I had today.

On my way to the hospital to see my new baby niece, I stopped at Sonic (duh) for a lemon slush and tater tots, um... with cheese. While waiting at the hospital, my mom and I got our snack on with the vending machine. I had a lemonade, and we shared a Twix bar. Hey, at least I shared!

My sisters c-section got pushed back because of an emergency, so I had to leave to go pick up my other niece from daycare before new baby was out. My sister never has food in her house, so I grabbed a chicken McNugget Happy Meal for me and the three year old. I ate the nugs, she drank the chocolate milk and was thrilled to have a new Puss in Boots figurine.

Then I came home and had a glass of cherry wine sangria.

I'm not weighing myself tomorrow.

Just for fun, here's a pic of my kitties. Snickers, Mr. Babies, and Julius

BYOC

1. If you could live anywhere in the world - where would it be and why?

I have always loved Arizona -- we visited family there quite a lot when I was a kid. I love the heat and the sun- I don't think I would ever get tired of it.

2.  How old were you when you got drunk for the 1st time?

I had done some drinking before this, but the first time I was ever super-duper-falling-down-need-to-puke drunk was on my 19th birthday. I spent the weekend with a friend, and, for some ungodly reason, drank an entire six pack of Zima (remember that stuff?!). I will never forget that feeling of the room spinning. I was trying to fall asleep, but I was so drunk I couldn't close my eyes! Back then, I wasn't the master puker that I have become post banding. All that really needed to happen was a good upchuck. But seriously, before I got banded, I could count on one hand the times I have barfed in my life (not counting infancy, of course).

3.  What was your favorite toy growing up?

One of my favorite things was this roller skate case. It was a red, white, and blue, and it had these old-school buckles on it. I used to keep all my current favorites in it. First, it was doll clothes, then barbie stuff, then Lord only knows. I don't believe I ever kept roller skates in it.


4.  What's your favorite season and why?

I like summer and fall the best. I love the heat of summer and the way the trees and foliage fill in lush and green and make a canopy of leaves over my street. I love the smell of fall, the swirling leaves, the changing colors, and the perfect temperatures for jeans and sweatshirts.

5.  Repeat question....which blog or comment spoke to you or stuck with you the most this week?

Kagead posted about a friend's negative reaction to her surgery news. This touched me because I was once that friend. A good friend, who I've known since 7th grade, got banded a year or two before I did. When she told me about it, I was surprised. I was also on my high horse about exercise because I had just finished a weight loss challenge in which I worked my hiney off for 8 weeks to lose 12 pounds, and I thought I could conquer the world with squats and bench presses. I don't remember exactly how I reacted, but I know I wasn't as supportive as I could've been. To this day, we've never talked about it. I wish I could go back and redo that conversation -- although maybe following in her footsteps (same surgeon even) was enough of a come-uppance!

I am so freaking excited!

Two reasons:

1) I am officially coming to Chicago for BOOBS!!!!!! I have a roommie, and I'm gonna take the train, and it's going to be so fun! It will also be my first time away from home alone since the little guy was born. Whee!

2) My sister is having baby #2 today! She's schedule for a c-section early this afternoon, so I'm heading up to the hospital in a bit to meet my new niece!


And I think that's enough exclamation marks for one post...

Thoughts on a long journey - Part 1

As you know, if you read my teensy profile to the right, I've had my band for 3 1/2 years now. I'd like to give you my perspective on being that far out and not being at goal weight yet. Here's my first rambling session,

 

When I first got my band I didn't want to make it 100% public, but there were a few groups of people I knew I really needed to tell. This was mainly because I didn't know how this was all going to work, and I didn't want to be constantly explaining my drastic change in eating habits. First, it was family. I'm very close to my extended family on my mom's side, and we see them a lot. Plus, I knew they would be supportive (which they have been, save for one comment that shall be explored later). I also told my in-laws, because they are the best and would also be worried. Next was my coworkers. I work in a hospital with a great bunch of nurses and other medical professionals -- a really invaluable resource for personal health issues. Plus, I eat lunch with these people every day. Thank God I did tell them, because coming up with excuses for my many emergency trips to the bathroom during lunch to slime gets old (I got caught throwing up in the bathroom once by a nurse I didn't know -- I told her I was pregnant. Ha.).

 

Over the years, I've told random other people about my band -- mostly the random friend who I deemed trustworthy. In general though, I've kept it pretty close. I'll admit that part of this was because I was afraid I would fail, and I didn't want to hear about it. I did go through two pregnancies after banding, and I knew it didn't matter, but I just KNEW I would still hear a bunch of crap along the lines of "three years, and she only lost 50 pounds? I guess that isn't working out." I'm sure a lot of the people that do know think this, but they are just too kind to say it to my face. In fact, my mom mentioned the lap band to another relative who was talking about her neighbor being afraid of bypass. This relative, who knows all about my band, says, "Oh, lap band? That doesn't work." That's ok, because I'm in the process of proving her wrong now, and anyone who wants to call me a failure can suck it.

All that aside, I've been feeling lately like I want to be more open about it. That's part of why I decided to start blogging. Maybe I want to be found out. Maybe if everyone around me knew, then it might be another little bit of motivation to stay the course. Maybe I just don't like keeping secrets. Maybe I need more cheerleaders. Who knows? I'm not going to go post it on my Facebook status anytime soon, but if someone asks me what I'm doing to lose weight, I've decided I will be truthful.

I hit a point this week where my weight loss is heading into new territory. I'm at 223.7 today. I haven't weighed 220 since my sister got married 5 years ago. I haven't seen 205 since I was working at Starbucks 7 years ago. I haven't seen 190 since I was in college 12 years ago (and I thought I was a whale then. Shit, if I only knew!). So, I guess I'm getting nervous. It's happening... really happening. The band is working like I always wanted/expected/hoped it would. My brain hasn't quite caught up with this, but maybe that's a good thing. I tend to get bogged down in the details, a perpetual planner. I need to ride this wave of action right down to one-derland. I hope to be there before Chicago. Hell, I KNOW I'll be there before Chicago. Maybe that will be my first big shopping spree in non-plus size clothing. It's thrilling just to think about. It's so close, so close...

Damn you, Internet! And TV!

It's my turn for baby duty tonight (I have the best hubby -- we take turns with the noob), and he is a fussy little thing. Normally, he wakes up, gets a new dipe, drinks a few ozs, and immediately falls back asleep. Tonight... not so much. He started fussing at 1am, and after much struggle and bouncing and rocking and whatever keeps him quiet, I finally gave up and stuck him in the swing. In which he fell asleep within five minutes. Grrrr. Meanwhile, his mother the insomniac is now wide awake and sucked into a rerun of Criminal Minds. And of course, I had to check in on the band bloggers.

Speaking of the bloggers... Hello to my new followers! So happy to see you! I hope I don't bore you to tears.

I don't always complete sentences. Especially at 3:30am. And there is a commercial on for Long John Silver's lemonade that is making my mouth water.

I have to work tomorrow. That is a giant bummer. Not so much the working, but the being awake right now before the working.

In band news, I'm still feeling quite a bit of restriction. It's almost, dare I say, the sweet spot. Maybe a hair over. I haven't really been hungry for dinner, so I've just been picking at whatever Mike cooks. I'm being really careful at lunch at work -- I just don't have time to deal with a two hour PB episode. I'd like to avoid PBing altogether. It's really a miracle I haven't done any damage yet. Here's what I ate yesterday:

Breakfast: 1 scoop Nectar (protein powder) in apple juice and water
Morning snack: Dannon yogurt
Lunch: About 1/4 of a turkey rueben and a pickle spear
Afternoon snack: a PayDay bar (which totally ruined dinner)
Dinner: 1 brocolli floret and about 10 pieces of rotini with olive oil and parmesan

I really need to avoid the vending machine on the way out of work. Instead of junk food for the ride home, I need to get more fluids in.

I guess that's enough rambling out of me right now. It's 3:44am. I need to try to get a little bit of sleep. See you on the flip side!