Guess what!

I can paint my own toenails again! Yay!

Day of goodness!

First of all, my 19 month-old daughter slept all night, which means I also got to sleep all night. I needed this because I've been on baby duty the last three nights, so I was super exhausted. That was probably contributing to my bad attitude.

Next, I got on the scale, and WHAAAAT?!?! Down a pound and a half! ROCK! In the interest of complete disclosure, I guess I will give you the actual number: 234.5. There. It's out. Now I can get on with my life.

Work was pretty good. That's always a win. And I got a thank you note from a patient! Kinda makes you feel all warm and fuzzy.

I came home to a clean house. Yes, I have a cleaning lady. No, I'm not rich. I'm just lazy. Don't hate.

I also found that I have my first follower!! Whee! Hi Amy!

All good, all day.

Ok, back to the weight. First, I have to tell you that this officially gets me back to my 40lbs down mark! Mini-milestone: check!

Second, have you ever been smacked in the face with others' perception of what a certain weight looks like? I work in the medical field, and we occasionally need to know a patient's weight for our testing. Every once in a while, a coworker will say something like, "Oh, we got a big one coming." So, I look at the weight, expecting to see 400lbs or approaching that because that's how "big" you have to be to get moved to different equipment, different time slot, etc. How much do these "big" people weight? 250. 225. 260. It kills me. I want to look at them and say, "Do you not see me sitting next to you? Do you not see this person who weighs just as much as this patient?" What the heck. I asked a good friend about this phenomenon once, and she told me they probably don't see me like that and probably don't even think about it. Well, it hurts anyway. Every time it happens, it's all I can do to not say, "Um, how much do you think I weigh?" None of their biz anyway.

One more piece of goodness. The hubster was checking out my butt while I was putting away toys, and he reported that it looks smaller. Sweet.

Attitude Adjustment.

I need one.

I went for my run, and I was just not feeling it. Probably because I don't feel good to begin with. I did half of it, then just walked the rest of the way. Here's some practice being positive: I got 20 minutes of exercise in today. And the hubby went to pick up the kids from daycare, so I can actually have time to shave my legs in the shower.

I have three more weeks till my fill appointment, so tomorrow I'm going to officially weigh in. The goal is to lose another 5 before that appointment. Time to regroup and move on!

Must take shower now, before I get in trouble!

I am my own worst enemy

Just after congratulating myself on making it across the bridge (very long and uphill) at work without dying, I got a frosted cookie and a sugary iced tea to go with my lunch. Way to go, Maria.

I really need to get my run in tonight and weight in tomorrow morning. Must stop self-sabotaging! Why do I do it?

WTF stomach?

I'm feeling a little frustrated. My stomach is hurting and my whole digestive tract just feels off. Food was going ok for me until I got home and tried chicken soup for dinner. Normally that isn't a problem, but today it was not working. A few bites in (yes, I was chewing), and the gurgles started. For me, that is a sign I need to stop eating right that second. I definitely do not need another barfing episode this week. I already have an ulcer and gastritis. Lord only knows where that crap came from.

All day at work I felt like I got punched in the kidney. Hopefully THAT is not infected.

I'm supposed to get another fill in a few weeks, and all this stomach crap makes me nervous to get it. I know I need a bit more fluid, so I guess I need to get on the stomach healing wagon, whatever that is. Bye bye coffee and thai food!

The FAIL Post

Here's a list of some recent fails by me:

1. I took my daughter on my run this morning in the jogging stroller. NOT. I'm not quite ready for the added degree of difficulty. Forty minute walk instead.

2. Pushups. I pretty much suck. And I forgot to do the rest of the workouts this week.

3. Squats. Yeah, no. It's too much with the running.

4. Laundry. There are no clean bath towels in my house. And I have to work tomorrow.

What a difference a shoe makes!

I attempted Week 2 Day 1 today and totally rocked it! I think I was a little more motivated knowing there were less run intervals even though they were a hair longer. Now, if I could only get over my self-loathing while running, I could really get into a good groove. It's the belly fat. I feel like everyone is staring at it. They're not. I want to say, hey, there were two kids in here, give me a break! Instead, I will forge ahead knowing that as long as I keep running, it will shrink eventually.

The Podrunner Interval podcasts are making this infinitely more enjoyable. I'm not a huge fan of electronic music, but there is a track on Week 2 that really makes me want to shake it.

Speaking of shaking it, I wish this was in my town. I'd go all the time. It reminds me of when I was in college, and we'd have ten minute disco parties on Wednesday nights for a study break. Good times, good times.

I haven't talked about my band much yet, but I will now. Because I barfed today. I have never barfed so much in my life as after I got this thing. I still don't regret it. I'm just much more comfortable with barfing. I like to talk about it, in case you couldn't tell. My husband is completely grossed out by the proceedings, so I can't share the details with him. Today's culprit was lunch. I thought I did pretty good with two thin slices of chicken gyro meat with tomatoes and gyro sauce on top. Protein and veggies, right? Well, then I had to go and eat two teeny little bites of chocolate pudding. Why? Why do I this to myself? I knew that damn pudding was going to slide down there and gum up the whole works. Sure enough. Damn pudding. Liquids for me tomorrow.

I did it!

I finally made it through all the intervals for C25k week one! Super giant pat on the back for me! I said I was going to wait till I finished week 4 to get new shoes, but that was seeming less and less like a good idea. My shins were a little sore, plus I realized my shoes are about 3 years old with lots of miles of treadmill miles on them. So... Off to Hanson's I went this morning and got fixed up with some shiny new Brooks Adrenaline. I cannot wait to break these in on Wednesday. My old shoes felt like soft fluffy slippers after the snug awesome newness. I think this was a good idea.

I rock the squats!

31 good form squats. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. The push-ups were another story -- only 3. Upper body strength has always been a problem for me -- though I was once in shape enough to bench 100 lbs 10 times. Oh yeah. But that was a long time ago.

You know that annoying sizing that Lane Bryant switched to a year or two ago? Well, they are finally phasing that shit out. It was so awful, and although it was kind of a weird thrill to buy a size "4", it was also annoying knowing what a sham it was. And none of them fit me right. I have a size 4 in the red kind (that are a bit tight in the waist since baby #2) and a size 6 in the yellow kind (that are now falling off me, yay). Confusing much? I'll take a plain ol' 20 average thank you. Not for long though!

That reminds me. When I was emergency clothing shopping for the funeral at Dress Barn the other day, the sales woman asked me what size I needed. I told her probably a 22 (judging by what old jeans in my closet fit me now -- oh wait, thanks to LB, I no longer know what the hell size I am), and she was all, "Oh honey, I have seen 22, and you are no 22." I let her talk me into trying on some 18s and 20s, and holy crap, they fit. I was pretty jazzed about that.

Because I'm a glutton for punishment...

This is what I plan on doing on my no run days:

http://hundredpushups.com/

and

http://www.twohundredsquats.com/

I'm probably crazy, but I figure it's a quick way to get in a full body workout. I'm going to do the initial tests for each tomorrow. The pushups will be dismal. The squats should be a little better.

And for that dangling carrot... if I make it through week 4 of C25k, I'm getting a new pair of running shoes.

A couple things

I do mean to update here more often, but we had a death in the family, so it's been a busy week.

Yesterday was W1D2 of C25k. It went way better than Monday. I managed to run the first 4 intervals, 3 partial ones, and then I skipped one -- mostly because I was at a stoplight and I just couldn't bring myself to run in place.

One thing that became very apparent to me yesterday was that two pregnancies have definitely changed my body. I was squishy before, so I wasn't really sure all that much had changed, but my workout pants beg to differ. I used to be able to pull them up over the muffin top to sort of smooth things out, but instead they now roll right down to my waist. I have to say, it was a pretty huge thing for me to get over myself and run anyway knowing my belly flab was bouncing along for all to see. Then, a little old man who was watering his garden cheered me on. That was pretty cool.

I have to say, this weight is coming off for good, if for nothing else than to not have to face the horror of clothing shopping ever again. Now I get that even if you are of a slender shape, it's not always easy to find clothes either. At least you have more stores to choose from. I was in a big hurry after work the other day, trying to find an outfit for the funeral, so I figured I'd try good ol' Lane Bryant. Lord, I will so happy not to set foot in that store again. Granted, I have about 50lbs to lose before that happens. Epic. Shopping. Fail. I tried on eight pairs of pants, all of which made me look like I was wearing a circus tent. Four sweaters that did nothing but show off my stomach fat. So, I gave up and went to Macy's to try to find a pair of shoes. Four pairs I pick out -- none of which they have bigger than a size 8. Screw it.

Luckily, I found two pair of dress pants in my closet that still fit (one's even a bit big), so now I'm about to do some serious last minute shopping for a shirt or two. Wish me luck.

I ran... just a little.

Today was W1D1 of Couch to 5k. I really didn't have any illusions about my running ability, but it was still a bit of a wake up call. I managed to do the whole first run (60 seconds), but each one after that was a little shorter until I was only managing 30 second runs. I'm sure my extra poundage isn't helping anything.

My first new adventure!

Fitting in exercise is a big challenge, not that that is anything earth shattering or new. For me though, exercise has always been an absolute must for achieving any weight loss. I'm not the kind of person that can cut out pop and fast food and drop twenty. Even with my band, to see any serious movement, I've got to DO some serious movement.

So, what to do? I'm thinking Couch to 5k. And wouldn't ya know there's a race right in town about 9 weeks from now! Well, it's only a 2-mile fun run, but what the hey? That would be more than I have ever run in my life, and if I stick with the training, it should be a cinch.

I'm planning on starting tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes.

Here goes nothing...

When I got my band three years ago, there weren't very many people blogging about it. Now it seems there are tons! That's pretty cool.

I decided to join in because I just don't have a lot of people around me who 'get it,' so this is my place to let it all out.

My band has sort of been a secret, well a half-assed secret. People I work with know, most of my family knows, but only a select few outside that group. So, if you found me here, then I guess the cat's out of the bag. It's a bit of a relief actually. You see, I'm about to really start getting down to business losing the rest of this weight, and it would be nice to not have to make excuses for why I got full after just a few bites (because that's kind of weird for someone my size, isn't it?).

I'm also here for accountability. If it's out there, and someone's reading it, it's going to help me follow through.

Here's to new adventures in weight loss and exercise!