This week, I'm on my own. Well, not really on my own. Hubs is heading to Costa Rica for work, so it's just me and the kidlets. I'm exhausted just thinking about it. My mom is coming Monday and Tuesday night because I have early meetings at work, so that will help. The kids will be distracted with her -- I just hope they sleep!
I'm planning on taking this week as an opportunity... I'm giving the HMR shakes and soups and bars another go. Since hubs won't be around to want dinner (and my mom won't care), I may as well give it a try. My habit to work on (from the NUT) is getting all my water in. My intake was dismal this weekend, so that needs to be a focus this week too. I'm also scheduling appointments with my band doc and my GI guy so I can hopefully put some of my fears to rest. I'm sick of feeling bloated. I need to figure out what works and what doesn't and stick to something.
Yesterday we had tater tot's 4th birthday party. It was way fun! We did a unicorn (or as she says, "ula-corn") theme. The kids did "pin the horn on the unicorn" and we had a unicorn pinata. Good times. Until I looked at the pictures today. Ugh. You guys, why oh why, do I still feel like I look like I never lost weight at all? I mean, the fact is, I'm still 55lbs less than where I started, and that is no small number. Why does this 15lbs I've gained feel like 50? It's so frustrating. I finally got some new jeans at Target. Back to size 18. Le sigh.
Anyway, I know I'm rambling. I just know I have to get it out of my head. I'm tired of grasping at straws. Tired of falling off the wagon every other day. I feel like I just need to pick something and surrender myself to it.