Sunday, November 28, 2010

11/28/10 Absent

I feel like I've been neglecting blogland a bit lately. I've been a little more introspective lately, trying to get some things straightened out in my head, and I'm not feeling the urge to put pen to page, so to speak. I'm trying to comment a bit every day, at least.

My mood has been better the last few days, and I'm not feeling so terribly down anymore. However, I will admit that I've given up on losing weight for the moment. I know that sounds awful, but it's only temporary. I am just tired of struggling, and I'm tired of the, pardon my french, mind-fuck of having a fill level that was once too tight but now feels like nothing. I've even been exercising three times a week with a little Wii-Fit thrown in here and there, and I got nothin' (I do plan on doing measurements again in a few weeks to see if I have inches lost instead of pounds lost right now). I'm just tired. My next fill appointment is still two weeks away. I'm still trying to eat smart -- it's not like I'm binge-ing (how DO you spell that?) on Hostess Fruit Pies or anything. My brain just needed a little break from this diet mentality I have been living in lately.

Maybe it's the holidays. I normally love this time of year and love seeing family and friends that I don't see very often, but this year is just feeling different. Thanksgiving was just ok. I could go on a twelve page rant about how annoyed I was by the whole afternoon, but I won't. There was so spectacular family drama or anything, just a variety of things that irked me. I really hope Christmas goes better.

So that's where I'm at right now. I'm going to post some pics soon. I bought myself a pair of size 16 jeans -- they don't fit yet, but I thought it would be fun to have a little before/after with those. I also have a winter coat my mom bought me years ago that I never wore. Well, I'm within a few pounds of making it happen. I can zip it up, but I look liked a stuffed sausage. I hope to fit into it by the end of January, because I don't really have a good winter coat. My old one has been through hell and back with my weight and the lining is all ripped, and it's just not that warm. I guess those 50-some pounds kept me a little warmer last winter!


Jacquie said...

Hang in their Maria! Are you drinking a lot of water and getting in all your protein? That makes a huge difference with me.

No one has to tell me how hard the Holidays can be so please know that we are all here for you. Love ya!

Justawallflower said...

I think you should get out of the dieter mentality. continue to make good choices and get physical activity in, if not to loose weight then because it's good for you (and by you, I mean everyone!) I am with you on the holiday's this year. I also usually love this time of year, but have been struggling this year for some reason. I hope things work out for you and you are back to normal soon. Until then, go easy on yourself!

MandaPanda said...

Aaawwww. I'm feeling you on the holidays. I was so ready for Christmas this year (not my to-do list but mentally) but then all kinds of family drama over the weekend completely took the wind out of my sails. I agree you need to get out of the dieter's mentality. That will drive you nuts. Hang in there!