Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Tuesday Update

Boy do I love me some women's gymnastics. I am glued to the Olympics coverage tonight.

I wanted to check in, for accountability's sake. I have been true to my word and have not stepped on the scale. You know what? It's helping. I've been making better choices and sticking to my plan better. Today I had to talk myself out of stopping at at least five places on the way home from work (I swear I'm on autopilot and my car will just automatically steer itself into the Sonic drive through). Instead, I came home, ate a good dinner, and treated myself to ten chocolate chips. It's just enough to curb the sugar cravings and get myself over it.

As for exercise, Monday I did two 8-minute runs on the treadmill! That is the most I've ever run at one time in my life EVER. The bad part is, my Achilles tendons were killing me today. They've felt better as the day has gone on, but I'm feeling a little skittish about tomorrow's run -- it's one 20-minute run. YIKES. My hubs is doing a good job of giving me pep talks and not letting me get too negative about it. I'm definitely doing it outside though. I'm totally weirded out about treadmill running, even though there were some good things. Good: kept pace, shoulders/arms stayed more relaxed, felt good during. Bad: tendon and hip pain the day after. I guess the best thing would be to mix it up and do one treadmill run a week.

So there it is. It's been a nice couple days free from the tyranny of the scale.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Ten Things Thursday

1. Right now I'm icing my knees and indulging in one of my guilty pleasures, which would be watching Step Up 3D for the eight bazillionth time. Whenever the scene with Madcon's Beggin' comes on, I have to get up and bust a move. First, I make sure the shades are down. Ha.

2. I finished Week 4 of C25k! Nuff said.

3. I worked with my trainer this morning. We did legs and I didn't want to puke, for once. Sometimes he comes up with some wack-ass combos. Also, I did about 100 jumping jacks and barely felt it, so that was quite awesome.

4. Coffee ice cubes in kahlua and milk. So delicious. Also, probably part of why I'm not losing.

5. My poor hubs is out for a walk, and it just started  pouring. He was planning on going about 4 miles, so Lord only knows how far away he is. At least it's just rain and not thunder/lightning.

6. Tomorrow my family from VA is coming in. We're having a shindig for my uncle's 60th. I love my VA cousins, so I'm really looking forward to this. Plus, I got a babysitter, so I won't have to chase my kids all night. Whee!

7. My sister and I are going to recreate some childhood photos for my dad's birthday. We picked out about ten of them to try, and we'll print the best ones. There's a few that have the potential to be hilarious. I will post them there when we get them scanned in. I wish we could go back to the house we grew up in to redo a couple of pics in the yard, but the people who live there now would probably think we were nuts.

8. I've been reading like a crazy woman lately. I figured out how to download library books to my iPad, and that was the end of that. I just started The Orphan Master's Son by Adam Johnson today. This month, I've already finished The Rules of Civility by Amor Towles and The Double Bind by Chris Bohjalian, and I'm halfway through The Dark Monk by Oliver Potzsch.

9. Speaking of reading, how many times do I have to smack myself in the face with the iPad before I just give up, put it down, and go to sleep? A lot, apparently.

10. I just have to say that I have the best inlaws in the world. Today, they came over and fixed our bathroom door. Do not ask me why, but we have lived with this thing broken for damn near a decade. It didn't shut all the way, and two month ago, the knob fell off. I know, classy, right? Well, now it has a brand new knob and it actually shuts all the way!

11. Bonus item! I think I'm going to go on a scale hiatus. I've realized that I'm putting so much stock in that number that I let it determine how I'm feeling and acting for days afterward. Maybe if I just stay off the damn thing, I can concentrate more on how I'm REALLY feeling. So, if I have a decent food day, I'll feel good, and keep going. Unlike now, where even when I have a good food day, if the scale is up, I just throw the whole thing away. Because I am such a scale whore, I'm not going to say I'll stay off it for good, but I am going to limit myself to once weekly weigh-ins on Fridays. I'm going to try to stick with this until BOOBs.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Ermahgerd... Vertermerns!

Bonus points for you if you laughed at that title. For everyone else, google.

I didn't mean to wait so long to post again. I am still floundering around in my funk a little bit. About the only things I have a handle on are my vitamin (vertermerns!) and my C25k, the latter of which would be going much better if I was eating right. I had a good plan together last week after meeting with the nutritionist, but that lasted about three days. As of this morning, I was up to 218.3. WTF. I'd say I should maybe give up the scale for a while, but I'm honestly terrified that the next time I get on it, I'll be over 220.


On a positive note, I have trainer appointments set up for tomorrow and next Tuesday and Thursday, so at least I have the exercise under control. It's just the food. The food.

The food. 

Let's move on.

So, I'm getting pumped for BOOBS. I'm trying not to think too much about it because it is still two months away, but that is like NOTHING. I'm super excited to be flying in this year -- so done with train rides and wasting 8-10 hours of my life. Thank God last year I had Grace with me, otherwise it would've been unbearable. So, flying it is, this year. Can't wait to see what the planners have in store!

Ending on a high note!

Monday, July 16, 2012

Sucks to be me.

Ugh. What a downer title, eh?

So I went to my weight control center appointment to meet with a new doctor. These docs are not surgeons, they are internists who supposedly specialize in bariatric issues. Ha. The good: I appreciated that she did a very thorough history to understand my situation, etc, etc. The bad: she couldn't answer any of my GI questions or make any suggestions other than, "Well, maybe you could try not keeping sweets in the house?" I was near tears at this point out of sheer frustration. Had she not listened to anything I said? I wanted to be all, "lady, if shit like that worked for me, I wouldn't have needed surgery!" Not to mention she was damn near an hour late for my appointment.


We also did lots of bloodwork, the results of which I got today. Not good. I'm basically malnutritioned. Yes, I am fat and malnutritioned. I love it. Low Vit D, low Vit B, low Iron, low iron saturation, high chloride, blah de blah blah blah. No wonder I'm so frakking tired all the time. It's a miracle I've managed to make it through 3 weeks of C25k!

Here's the deal. I can tell you guys this. But only you, because I know you will understand. Not my mom, not hubs, no one but you. I've been eating horrendously. I've been pretending it's not that bad, but it is. I've had donuts three mornings in a row. Three. Do you know how good the cherry fritters are from 7-11? Really good. And I ate ice cream for dinner one night. Ben & Jerry's. I've eaten my kids fruit snacks and vanilla wafers, and I think there was maybe one day last week that I actually drank my whole 64 oz of water. I've had pop and fruit juice. I went to a birthday party and had pop, frozen custard, AND cake. I've been drinking. Mixing up a little mango rum and orange juice after the kidlets are in bed. Can't let that OJ go to waste. A glass of wine sometimes. I had carrot cake after lunch today. Can't remember the last green vegetable I ate. Last time I ate a piece of fruit was probably 4 days ago. It's bad.

Whew. There it is. All my food sins out of my head. I'm actually sick to my stomach just reading over that last paragraph. Why do I do this to myself? I'm so frustrated about not being able to have a fill. Still haven't gotten to talk to my surgeon about my long-term band prognosis. Too much up in the air for me. I've got to get a handle on it. I'm not feeling very supported either. I was telling hubs about my blood work and instead of just listening, he interrupts and says, you gotta take your vitamins and exercise. No shit, thanks for the tip. Men. Always trying to fix things.

Lest I get even more long winded here... I will, once again, pick myself up and dust myself off. I will start my vitamin regimen tomorrow. I will NOT eat a donut.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Dog tired

That's me. I'm losing it this week. I'm not sleeping great, and I'm trying to break this horrid habit of staying up too late. It's so dumb, especially when I know I'm getting up to exercise in the morning!

This morning I did Week 3 Day 1 of C25k. I ran for three minute straight twice! Whee! I'm getting there. I think this is about where I gave up last time. I looked back through some old blog posts and was surprised to find that it's been over two years since I tried C25k. Back in May 2010, I was five months out from giving birth to my little guy and right in the middle of my biggest chunk of weight loss. I was about 230lbs then, which is 17lbs more than now. Hmmm. Where is my weight loss mojo? Let's not dwell on the fact that I'm only down 17lbs in the last two years. Oy.

I made an appointment at the weight control center to follow up with the docs and nutritionists there. I need some serious guidance with this whole gastroparesis thing. I am committing myself to checking in there monthly to keep myself motivated. This time I mean it! I'd love to be down a size before we move, so I can NOT pack this round of fat clothes!

Monday, July 9, 2012


I was talking to someone at work -- not someone I know, just someone I was talking to in passing -- and this person was talking about having a boob job. So, I mentioned that I wanted to get a tummy tuck eventually. Her eyes about bugged out, and she said, "Really? But you don't look like you need it." Oh lady, can I hug you? I told her about my band and weight loss, and she said, "Wow, you look so normal, I can't even imagine you being a big person!" 

Some days you really need a dose of reality -- even coming from a complete stranger. It knocked me back a couple steps because lately I've been feeling so down on myself. With my stomach issues and my 15lb gain, I've felt like a complete heifer, to be honest. It was good to be reminded that I'm NOT that 275lb girl anymore and that even though I might feel that way sometimes, people do not look at me like that.  Le sigh. On with the day...

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Ten Things Thursday!

1. As the sign on my local Walgreen read, "It hot out." I shit you not, that is exactly what it said. I die every time I drive by because I know exactly the person who put it there and I can just picture her saying that. Awesome.

2. I'm so bored at work this week. I chugged through my QA though today and that passed most of the time. It takes frikkin forever, but I only have to spend this much time on it once a month, so it's not too bad. I still have to do my data analysis on it tomorrow, so that will get me through the morning at least.

3. I have come up with the most brilliant bedtime plan EVER for my daughter. She was doing this crap where she would stall and stall and stall instead of going pee and brushing her teeth. I swear we would be in the bathroom for 30 minutes. Unacceptable. I started setting a timer for 4 minutes. If she pees and gets her teeth brushed before it goes off, she gets a sticker. After she earns a certain amount of stickers (I let her decide between 3 and 6 usually), then she gets a reward. Tonight her reward was helping me make cookies. Last time, she got to pick a prize at the dollar store. Next time, it's a trip to the zoo. I'm doing my best to my the rewards 75% not about food. Anyway, I'm thrilled because she has not missed once, and bedtime is going much smoother and faster now.

4. The heat is making me tired. And also probably all the garbage I ate today. Lord, I wish I could have a fill.

5. I'm gearing up to go whole hog and really really go paleo/primal for a good thirty days. I'm halfway there already, but I'm still sneaking quite a bit of junk in and I've been drinking a LOT of fake sugar. Not good.

6. Lifted weights this morning for the first time in two weeks. My shoulders are sore. It feels good.

7. All this humidity really makes the cat pee smell rise out of my couches. We are not bringing this piece of shit with us when we move. Even if it means I have to sit on bean bags for the next six months until I can afford new furniture.

8. I'm letting my hair grow out again to save money. I keep telling myself I look like I have one of those ombre hair dye jobs because my highlights are so grown out, but I probably just look bad. Might need a semi-permanent helper.

9. I put up new curtains in the little guy's room today. One thing down, eight bazillion to go to get this house ready to rent!

10. Can't believe I just blogged two days in a row. What is this world coming to?

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Happy 4th!

My sister and I took the girls to the parade this morning. It was fun, but dang was it hot already! We were sitting on a street that runs east and west, so one leg and one arm got about three shades darker tan this morning. Must strategically place myself this afternoon to even out!

I made it out to do my run this morning before the heat kicked in. Here's my workout Wednesday pic for you. It's a bit blurry. Try to ignore the bags under my eyes -- I've been up since 3am!

Today was Day 1 of Week 2 for C25k. So far, so good! I had to ice my shins a little today, but that's to be expected. I really need to find a place where I can run on a trail or a track instead of the concrete sidewalk.

That's all for now. Have a happy 4th everyone!

Monday, July 2, 2012

June Wrap-Up

So, Milwaukee was good. I learned a lot in my class, got in two days of swimming and two gym workouts. I did drink a lot of beer, so I was up a little. The good news is, I'm down to 213.8 this morning, so I managed to recover AND lose some additional over the past week.

In band news, I'm hitting that part of summer where I almost always need an unfill. Well this year, since I'm empty already, I'm noticing I have fairly decent restriction instead of being too tight. Imagine that! I've learned that with the gastroparesis, I can't eat broccoli or cauliflower unless they are really cooked down. They just sit in my throat -- not fun. I also have been getting horrid stomachaches if I eat too much wheat (see below). For instance, on Sunday we stopped at my mom's for like 5 minutes. She had some cold pasta on the stove, so I shoved a few noodles in my mouth because I was starving. Mistake. I wasn't stuck, I just had a bad ache for almost two hours. Lesson learned. I've also been logging my food again with myfitnesspal.com, and I think that's helping too.

I haven't looked at my 2012 goals in a while, so here's a recap and a progress update:

Get to Goal Weight: 170lbs - Actively working on this now instead of just phoning it in.
Give paleo-style eating an honest month (at least) of effort - I'm 90% wheat/grain free. Limited dairy. Still working on the processed food part. As soon as I can manage that, I'll be damn near 100% grain free.
Set monthly exercise goals and track consistently (and blog it!). I just started C25k, so the plan is 3 running workouts per week, plus 2 strength workouts, plus one additional cardio session on the bike or elliptical.
Find fitness events to stay motivated to exercise. - I'm officially signed up for a 5k in September! The course is through a beautiful neighborhood and ends at the Detroit Zoo.
Take supplements daily. - Still taking my Omega 3 Sea Gummies. I really need to get on board with a multi and vit D.
Overall: 4/5. Yay me! 

Paint and install old headboard. - I still want to do this. I need to get it to my dad's house sometime this summer so it will be ready when we move!
Follow the 2012 Organize in 5 Daily Diary. - I plan to start using this again to help declutter in preparation for packing.
Find a space in the basement to organize crafty items/tools. - Scratch this one. My news house has 4 bedrooms and a den. I'll have my very own craft room!
Carve out a little office niche somewhere in the house. - See previous.
Overall: Since the overall goal has changed to decluttering and packing and moving, only the first two really make sense going forward, so those will be the only ones I track.

Finish Service Excellence Certification - They changed the curriculum on me. Boo! I have one more class to do in September. It will be done though!
Do monthly or semi monthly staff morale projects. - We did a really nice potluck for all our June birthdays. I'm planning on doing some fun little summer treats next week.
Overall: Good stuff!

Plans for July: Clean out the garage, continue decluttering the basement. Any knitters or crocheters out there? I have a lot of nice yarn I need to destash. Rock bottom prices! Email me!