Sunday, January 9, 2011

Late Night Ramblings

Insomniac here... nothing better to do at 4am. If I had a bigger house, I'd do chores or something, but I'd probably wake up the kids so... not happening.

I've been thinking a lot lately about whether or not I want to set any specific goals for myself over the next few months and how aggressive I would make them. In the past year, I've done my best weight loss work when I was just living and not trying to reach any particular goal. In fact, both challenges I joined and the one I made for myself were colossal failures on my part. Do I want to go there again?

The thing is, the structure would probably be good for me at this point. My restriction is still so-so, and I'm not very motivated to exercise a ton right now. DH is losing weight like a mad-man by counting calories and doing laps up and down our basement stairs. (Seriously, he's lost almost 50lbs since last summer!), so at least I have support there. I wonder if I need to just throw myself into something (ya know, less thinking, more doing!) and just not worry about it and, most importantly, not let myself expect to fail.

I went closet shopping this weekend to find something to wear for my little guy's first birthday party. I found this green angora sweater from LB in an under-the-bed storage container. I fit pretty good, and I was pretty happy with how it looked. Except... it's a 22/24 (thanks to my boobs for not shrinking at ALL yet). So, that was a bit demoralizing. Now, I do have some 18/20 shirts and sweaters that fit just fine. I just hate pulling out these clothes that I fit into again and realizing that they are still my "fat clothes".

That sweater is a big reason why I am feeling like I need to set some goals and do the work. I've been hovering between 216 and 220 for six months now, and stick a fork in me, I'm DONE. It's time to move on. I know it's horrible to say, but I noticed myself being a little irritated with DH's weight loss, and that's just pure jealousy. I don't want to be like that.

I'm going to avoid calling this a "challenge" so my brain doesn't get all "Oh hell no" on me. I'm just setting some new smaller goals. I was trying to think of an event coming up, and really, all I have is my birthday in June. I'm thinking I want to be in Onederland by then. It's a measly 20 pounds in five months. I think know I can do it.

In other news, Friday was our 5th wedding anniversary, and DH bought me a tennis bracelet! Whee! He does not buy me jewelry EVER, so this was HUGE! We got my parents to take the kids too, so we had ourselves a little night out. And by night out, I mean we went to dinner, where I got full on five bites of brisket and four sweet potato fries, and then we went to Blockbuster and rented a movie, then we came home and fell asleep by 10:30. Oh yes, we are party animals!


Dawnya said...

I think you can reach your "un-goal" in 5 months. I've only just startef ollowing the blgs. however, when i read them I'm inspired.

I always look at my hubby and want to stab him with a butterknife because he eats and eats and eats and stays at 179. It's amazing. Yet, when I look at food I gain 10 lbs.

Enough of that. I have fait in your ability to reach your "un-goal". You are going to totally rock.

Jacquie said...

I am so with you Maria on making goals. I don't do well. I am such a slow and inconsistent loser. I can go 2 - 3 weeks without losing an oz. and than bam! 3 lbs are gone. When I average out my weight loss, it comes out to 5 lbs/month. However, there have been months that I have not lost weight or like December, when I lost only 2! I know thats why I would always get discouraged when i went to WW meetings.

You can make your un-goal of 20 lbs in 5 months. I think you just need to make yourself a priority (I know its hard with little ones but you just have to!) and make it a point to exercise 3 or 4 times a week. Walk-at-home with Leslie Sansone DVDs are great! I think you'd see a big difference if you can get back on the exercise track!

In any event, you are doing great! Love ya!

Justawallflower said...

As a fellow human that is always sabotaging myself, I am glad you are trying to find ways around it. Having goals is good, but doing challenges is a little to much for me. I am a perfectionist, and if I can't put my best work forward, or as soon as I have a little slip, I make sure I turn it into a huge slip. If I can't do my best, I'm going to do my best at doing my worst. Obviously I am trying to break this habit, and I hope you find ways to do that as well. Can you just model what your husband is doing? Do it together?

And your anniversary night sounds wonderful. That is something that we would have done. Even without the child. We really are an exciting bunch!

Linda said...

Happy anniversary!! You have the same kind if wild nights we do here. I know you can do you un-goal.

MandaPanda said...

The idea of a "night out on the town" certainly changes with children. I think your goal/ungoal/target is definitely do-able. Good luck!

Kristen said...

First things first....Happy Anniversary! Thats exciting! Secondly, I know how you feel about the weight plateau. I was around 220 for about 5 or 6 months and I was so sick of it. With healthier food choices I am now around 211 and its super exciting! You can do it!!!

Bonnie said...

It's always pissed me off how much faster men lose than women. Let's hold hands and get motivated together. WE CAN DO THIS!