Monday, April 25, 2011

Struggles

Warning, angst ahead...

First up, I find myself, once again, relearning how to eat with my band. Now that I have some restriction to speak of, I'm finally getting some fairly early stop signs, and things that I have had no problem eating over the last few months are now turning into big no-nos. My brain is having a hard time keeping up. I keep serving myself way too much food, and even though I don't finish it, I find myself taking that one or two bites too many. And then I'm miserable and on the brink of barfing for the next hour. For example, today at lunch I ate about 1/3 cup of bean soup, 1 little slice of kohlrabi, and 2 crackers with hummus. Respectable, no? The crackers and hummus at the end there put me over the edge.

I'm also finding sugar to be a huge issue. I've been sneaking it again. It's so embarrassing. I'm really beginning to think that I need to go back to something like that elimination diet I did before. I was able to handle some sugar in my tea and coffee without going on a crazy binge, but I avoided anything else. Of course, no rice this time.

Food issues aside, exercise is still not happening. Meanwhile, my hubby has lost an amazing 55lbs counting calories on his iPhone since last summer. I'm very proud of him -- has has incredible willpower and self-discipline. Now, he has decided he needs to exercise if he's going to get the last 30 pounds off. So, he's doing Couch to 5k, and he wants me to show him some weightlifting stuff he can do at home. Of course, I am super supportive of this. On the other hand, I am insanely jealous. I get crapped on for not getting chores or laundry done or not getting the kids fed right off because I took an hour to come home and exercise, yet he comes home way later than me, and then takes off for his run while I feed and bathe the kids. I don't know... it just really chaps my ass. I feel like there is a giant double standard here, and I don't like it. I've been trying to figure a way to fit exercise in without letting my house fall into a complete shambles, and I'm failing miserably. This one decides to run a 5k and just jumps headlong into it and still manages to pick fights with the two year old about whether or not she's going to finish the chicken nuggets. But, I digress...

Anyway, I think I'm feeling a little weird about my exercise throne being usurped by the hubs. I was always the one going to the gym, going for walks, whatever, and now, I'm the one doing NOTHING. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

And I just got distracted for about 10 minutes looking at lolcats. So, I'm done. Hope ya'll are having a better Monday than me!

7 comments:

Bandita Senorita said...

I am so worried about being the household maintenance person after we have kids...and, like you, I'm the one who has been more inclined to exercise during the course of our relationship. Ugh! Men!!

-Grace- said...

That double standard blows. If you ever need a babysitter or a hand with stuff, let me know! Seriously!

Amanda said...

My fill is today and you have just given me a valid warning. Thanks!

What I mean is I hvaen't had a fill in something like 6 weeks and in that time I started out a little tight, got used to the signs and then slowly those have faded. There for I need a fill! But I have got to remember that I start back at square one today when they fill me. I need to remember to slow down again!

I don't have kids. So the advice is just that. Not from experience. I can see how frustrating it would be for my husband to do that to me! Have you considered chatting with him about it. Maybe coming up with a plan where he takes a run then comes back and lets you have your 30 minutes? I think it is hard for the "going to work" adult to see that the "stay at Home" adults job doesn't end at 5:30 every day! It never ends! So yes, one parent is leaving the house and the other one hardly ever gets to. A gentle reminder of what is important to you as well and a little help would be nice!

Karen said...

Maria, Maria, Maria....

Obviously, our husband's took the same "Give The Wife Grief, 101" class... they must teach it at the local county college!

Stephanie M. said...

Well, that doesn't seem fair AT ALL. He should watch the kids while YOU exercise...trade off nights for who takes care of the kids and who gets to go to the gym. It's only fair! (Easier said than done, I know.)

MandaPanda said...

Well, my take on it is this... go exercise and leave your hubby to take care of the kids and when he gives you grief, shrug it off. He either wants you healhty or he doesn't. Period. Luckily, my hubby is pretty supportive and doesn't give me any grief about having to watch the kiddos but when I decided to get lapband, I decided it was time to put me and my health (and vain body wishes) first for a change. It's actually worked out pretty well.

Dawnya said...

Maria!!! I can't believe I haven't been following your blog all this time. I so thought I was and you just were not posting. I'm a total turd.

Tell hubby no can do!!! You deserve the same consideration that he is getting. You went through a lot to get this tool and now you want to make it work for you. In order to do that he needs to give you the same time he gets to exercise. I say when he walks in the door...you walk out and do you exercise.

Make sure you are already dressed and ready to go...so that he doesn't have a lot of time to complain. Then when you get back he can do his workout. All is fair in love and weight loss.

Are you going to BOOBS?