12/29/10 Looking forward

I have today off work -- it's so nice to not have anything to do. Oh wait, I did have a whole list of chores, but I got most of them done this morning. I don't really have a lot to say right now other than hurray for not gaining weight this past week. I'm holding steady at 219.6. That damn 60lb loss milestone is ever right around the corner, but I'm just not getting there. I'm also not trying that hard, to be honest. I've totally fallen off the wagon with the gym and tracking. And, once again, I just don't seem to have much restriction. It's better than it was before, but still not where I'd like to be.

I noticed the posts lately about a word for the new year. I've decided on a phrase instead:

Less thinking, more doing.

I am a planner; I like to organize. I let myself get bogged down in the details instead of just getting up and getting shit done. So that is my focus for the year. Just do it.

My number one area that needs improvement is exercise. I have to stop looking at it as an all or nothing entity. My approach must change. I need consistency and action. I spent a little Christmas money on a yoga/pilates DVD and a kettlebell with a Bob Harper DVD. The yoga one has five ten-minute segments, so I would like to fit one of those in every morning. The kettlebell one is 30 minutes long, so I would like to do that one a few times a week after work if I don't make it to the gym.

Another thing I am thinking of doing is going through a workbook I bought a few years ago. It's something about being successful after weight loss surgery. Maybe it would be a good time to do some mental workouts too.

That's all I've got for now. Gotta make some din din.

12/27/10 Never ending Christmas

This has possibly been the most stretched out holiday I've had in years. We had presents and merriment Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday. Last weekend too! Whew! All that and I still missed one whole side of my family!

I'm happy to report the scale was only up one pound, and my official weigh-in day isn't even until Wednesday, so that may be gone by then anyway. I haven't really been logging this week at all, and no exercise either. Food choices have been fine -- I haven't even been reaching for the cookies too often. No water though, so I'm a bit bloated at the moment. Sausage fingers, ew.

Anyway, it's the middle of the night right now, and I'm irritated because hubs made me get up with the baby tonight even though I have to work and he is off. So, he'll have a good night's sleep before he sits around and plays video games all day. On that note, I suppose I should try to get to sleep now that the baby is actually back to sleep!

12/23/10 Merry Christmas!

I'll be offline for a few days, so I leave you with a few pics:

This is about the extent of my decorating this year: stockings, tree, and a jingle bell on the front door. As you can see, my house is overrun with kid stuff...

Here is the tater tot posing in front of her Santa stocking. I swear this is the only pic I've taken of her in the last four months where she actually is looking at the camera and smiling.

Finally, hubs and the kids in their reindeer ears!

12/21/10 Small victories

I have gotten into this habit of only posting once weekly -- must post more! It's the season though. It's a busy week. Lots to do, and I'm working through Thursday.

This fill is still feeling pretty good, and today was good proof of that. Lots of people brought treats, and I didn't touch any of it! Now, I'm normally not the type to abstain completely from the good stuff, but yesterday I had three cookies from a tray and I decided that was enough. Plus, I really want to make a good showing on the scale tomorrow. I'm not worried about losing over Christmas, but I'd prefer not to gain.

One bummer... I'm totally getting sick. Headache, sinus pain, clogged ears, the works. Just in time for Christmas. Strangely enough, I got sick last year at this exact time. At least I'm not 32 weeks preggo on top of it this time!

12/17/10 - WW and the band

First up... remember the S.O.B. blog? Well, it's time we crowned some new Superstars! If you know someone who is S.O.B. - worthy (even yourself), send me an email at leavingfatland at gmail.com.
 

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming...

Island Bandit left me a comment the other day asking why and how I was doing Weight Watchers with my band. It got me thinking...

First, why: I started doing WW about two weeks ago when I was in bandster hell with no restriction and gaining like a runaway train. I needed something to get me through to my fill appointment. Why continue? Because it’s making me think about WHAT I’m eating. My fill does seem to be working, so the hunger isn’t really there, but that doesn’t mean I can just let go. For instance, last spring, I was losing about 10lbs a month, and do you know what I had for breakfast many mornings? A giant slush or cranberry lime-ade from Sonic. Not exactly the picture of health. I would also rely on granola bars a lot. I really want to change this and teach myself to go for more natural and nutritious food. This week, with restriction in place, I’ve had small protein shakes, fruit, and/or yogurt for breakfast. Much better. Bottom line? There is room for improvement in my food choices. I don’t want to lose weight eating “less” garbage.

I signed up for three months online, and I’m not sure if I’ll continue after that time period. It is plenty of time to build new habits though, and it’s worth it to me.

Next how: Yes, there are days when I’m not using all my points. I’m not worried about this because of my band and knowing that my band is doing the job it is there to do. There are also days, especially with the holidays looming, where I may just go over my points because of the odd dessert of splurge meal. I’m focusing more on the habit of tracking and the quality of food I’m eating. Yes, I am absolutely hoping that in a month or two, I’ll be losing regularly again and will feel less of a need to track constantly. I didn’t really track at all last spring.

Anyways, that is my take on that!

By the way, anyone out there do abdominal ultrasounds? I have a question!

12/15/10 Fill day and stuff

So much to say!

Monday was finally fill day for me. I have waited so long for this! At least it felt like it. My doc pulled out all the fluid to see what was there, and wouldn’t you know, there was about .3 cc LESS than he expected. He gave me another .3, so now I’m right about 1.4ccs. The good news? I think it is working. I’m noticing that I’m getting full on about ¾ cup of food and staying full for a reasonable amount of time. AND, thank God in heaven, the scale finally moved in a downward direction! I was up to 223 on Sunday, and today I was 220.9. I’ll take it! This, mind you, is all during a holiday brunch at work, a goodbye coffee/cake party for a coworker, and our department holiday party. I’m chalking it up to a good fill and mindfulness on my part about what is going in my mouth.

Speaking of holiday parties, our docs put on a really nice one for us this year. It was at a hall, and we even had a DJ for dancing! We all really needed to cut loose, and this was a perfect opportunity. It’s nice to have some out of work bonding time. I danced my hiney off, which is probably why I didn’t have any bloat from drinking. One really nice thing that happened? One of the supervisors told me how great I looked. It made me want to cry! I’ve been at this weird plateau for so long now, that it really felt good to be acknowledged.

So, remember my plan from last Wednesday? I know, it feels like eons ago...
1) Weight Watchers. I will admit I didn’t track through the better part of last week, because I was still feeling kinda like, “oh, fuck it.” This was weigh-in day though, so I’m starting off the week strong.

2) More water, less Crystal Light. I’m proud to say, I have not had one drop of Crystal Light since last week! My awesome hubby brought home bags of lemons, limes, and oranges when he grocery shopped, so my water has been brightened with fresh citrus all week. Yum!

3) Real food. So far, so good. We made two lovely pots of soup over the weekend, and I’ve been getting more fruits and veggies in. The real challenge will be to keep the variety when I’m eating less.

One more thing about the fill appointment. I asked my doc what he thought a good goal weight would be for me. Believe it or not, I have never had this official conversation with either him or my original surgeon. The magic number? 170. I think this is pretty realistic, so I’m going to go with it. That would be 105lbs down for me too. Up till now, I’d always had my goal at 150 because it’s close to what I weighed freshman year of college, but we’ll see how things are looking when I get to 170. I’m officially adjusting the ticker too.

Happy Hump Day!

WW Trial Round Up and a Hard Look at Myself

Official weigh in? I gained a pound this week. I’m disappointed (of course), but I’ve learned a few things this week. First, I’m not drinking enough water. I’m averaging about 40 oz per day, when I really need to be more at 90-100, especially with my kidney stone lurking in there. I’m also starting to wonder if I drink too much Crystal Light. Could it be that those chemicals have something to do with my kidney stone issues? Also, I’ve sworn off all diet food since being pregnant, yet I still down Crystal Light like it’s going out of style. I wonder if cutting out that last bastion of fake sugar will help with my cravings. Because, you know, I am a the owner of a very determined sweet tooth. It doesn’t need any help, that is for sure.

Second, I eat like shit. Seriously. I eat a lot of crap from boxes, bars, mixes, etc. Even if it’s not necessarily high calorie or high fat, there’s still not much nutritional value happening there. I really should cook more, for me, for my hubs, and to set an example for my kiddos, even though they’re still little. I should probably count myself lucky that the tater tot likes her veggies and fruits so much!

Next, I treat myself alot. A LOT. And sometimes it’s not just for treat’s sake, sometimes I’m using food to comfort myself. I’ll be honest: This morning I was so pissed off about gaining a pound that I had Zingers for breakfast. And hot cocoa. I know! It’s ridic! I was really mulling the whole thing over while doing my first few tests this morning, and I just decided it was time to be honest with myself about my behavior. Some really bad habits have been creeping their way back into my daily routine, and sure, a good fill would help, but I can’t expect it to do everything. I also have to consider my horrendous family history of heart disease, and I need to start taking care of myself NOW, before there is a real problem. I already have high blood pressure and borderline high cholesterol. I’ve seen too many people in their 30s and 40s have real cardiac issues in my line of work, that there is really no excuse for letting it happen to me. Or at least, I can’t let it be that I go down without a fight. Yes, some things are genetic and can’t be helped, but there are so many lifestyle changes that have real, measurable effects.

So, what am I going to do about this? For starters, I’m going to stick with Weight Watchers for a little while. I like that it’s making me think about what I’m eating, not just how much. Hopefully, with my fill this Monday, the “how much” won’t be an issue for awhile. I’m also going to cut out Crystal Light. I’ll replace it with watered down juice or unsweetened iced tea. While I’m at it, I’ll work on upping my water intake. And I’m going to plan my dinners and actually find some things to cook or put together at night.

Bullet style:

• WW
• more water, less Crystal Light
• real dinners and real lunches

Here’s to a better week, or a least more effort and shaking off the funk!

12/6/10 WW Trial Day 6

Hello people! Well, the WW trial is still going well. The scale is not cooperating, however. I'm starting to think my extreme sleep deprivation is becoming an issue. We are in the middle of a bad patch of sleep with both kids. The tater tot has been waking up between 3 and 4 am almost every night. She'll go back to sleep on the living room floor, but it still means I've woken up. The little guy is having a hard time breathing with all this dry air -- no amount of humidifying seems to help. So he usually wakes up around midnight. Put them both together and you have me not getting more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. This has been going on for two weeks now. Enough about that though...

Last Friday, I had dinner with the fabulous Grace of Grace's Fat Chance. We haven't seen each other since Chicago, and it was so great to reconnect. I forgot my camera, so you will have to wait for Grace to post pics.

That's all I have for now... Honestly? I'm having a hard time concentrating with screaming baby in the background.

12/2/10 Day 2 of WW Trial

How pissed was I this morning when I stepped on the scale and saw... 222?!@ #%@&#@!!!!

But all became clear about five hours later when I started my period.

Back to WW. Today went pretty well. I am actually under my points a bit, but that is mostly because I didn't eat much dinner. I have some wicked bad cramps right now and they make me a little nauseous. For the first time in a long time I had a big salad for lunch. Lettuce, tomato, onion, pepper -- all free. Greek dressing -- not so free. I need to get back in the habit of dipping my fork in the dressing instead of dumping it on my salad. It would've been better to spend some points on some chicken or beans instead of all that dressing.

So, yes, the cramps. I started to think something was seriously wrong with me today. Aunt Flo started this morning around ten. At lunch, I did eleven flights of stairs. About two hours later, my back started killing me, and I noticed some cramping start up too. By the time I left work, I was crying on the phone to my mom. It was so so bad. It was all I could do to hold it together at work and get through the last few tests. I was so close to either barfing or passing out at one point. I got hubs to pick up the kids, and I went home and slept on the heating pad for an hour and half. Luckily, my little rest helped. My back still hurts, but I took some Aleve (bad, I know) so the cramps are gone. Hey, it's not like I can pop a Vicodin when I have to go to work in the morning.

Besides having a crappy afternoon, I'm pretty happy with my food and exercise today. I finally acted on lunch time exercise. I usually have an hour, so there is plenty of time. Now I need this back issue to go away!

On to Day 3!

12/01/10 Day 1 of WW Trial

Today was my first day of points counting and trying out the new WW plan. I know I can't base a real thought-out opinion on one day, but there are some things I like about it. For one, counting points instead of calories, protein, fiber, etc., is much easier on the psyche. I easily obsess over numbers, amounts, is it enough, is it too much, is it balanced, so counting a "point" instead helps me detach myself from some of that craziness. I also like having a new online tool to fart around with. More tomorrow... I'm downright exhausted. I fried my legs and shoulders at the gym today, so hubs is going to help me off the couch to go to bed. Ha!