12/15/10 Fill day and stuff

So much to say!

Monday was finally fill day for me. I have waited so long for this! At least it felt like it. My doc pulled out all the fluid to see what was there, and wouldn’t you know, there was about .3 cc LESS than he expected. He gave me another .3, so now I’m right about 1.4ccs. The good news? I think it is working. I’m noticing that I’m getting full on about ¾ cup of food and staying full for a reasonable amount of time. AND, thank God in heaven, the scale finally moved in a downward direction! I was up to 223 on Sunday, and today I was 220.9. I’ll take it! This, mind you, is all during a holiday brunch at work, a goodbye coffee/cake party for a coworker, and our department holiday party. I’m chalking it up to a good fill and mindfulness on my part about what is going in my mouth.

Speaking of holiday parties, our docs put on a really nice one for us this year. It was at a hall, and we even had a DJ for dancing! We all really needed to cut loose, and this was a perfect opportunity. It’s nice to have some out of work bonding time. I danced my hiney off, which is probably why I didn’t have any bloat from drinking. One really nice thing that happened? One of the supervisors told me how great I looked. It made me want to cry! I’ve been at this weird plateau for so long now, that it really felt good to be acknowledged.

So, remember my plan from last Wednesday? I know, it feels like eons ago...
1) Weight Watchers. I will admit I didn’t track through the better part of last week, because I was still feeling kinda like, “oh, fuck it.” This was weigh-in day though, so I’m starting off the week strong.

2) More water, less Crystal Light. I’m proud to say, I have not had one drop of Crystal Light since last week! My awesome hubby brought home bags of lemons, limes, and oranges when he grocery shopped, so my water has been brightened with fresh citrus all week. Yum!

3) Real food. So far, so good. We made two lovely pots of soup over the weekend, and I’ve been getting more fruits and veggies in. The real challenge will be to keep the variety when I’m eating less.

One more thing about the fill appointment. I asked my doc what he thought a good goal weight would be for me. Believe it or not, I have never had this official conversation with either him or my original surgeon. The magic number? 170. I think this is pretty realistic, so I’m going to go with it. That would be 105lbs down for me too. Up till now, I’d always had my goal at 150 because it’s close to what I weighed freshman year of college, but we’ll see how things are looking when I get to 170. I’m officially adjusting the ticker too.

Happy Hump Day!

WW Trial Round Up and a Hard Look at Myself

Official weigh in? I gained a pound this week. I’m disappointed (of course), but I’ve learned a few things this week. First, I’m not drinking enough water. I’m averaging about 40 oz per day, when I really need to be more at 90-100, especially with my kidney stone lurking in there. I’m also starting to wonder if I drink too much Crystal Light. Could it be that those chemicals have something to do with my kidney stone issues? Also, I’ve sworn off all diet food since being pregnant, yet I still down Crystal Light like it’s going out of style. I wonder if cutting out that last bastion of fake sugar will help with my cravings. Because, you know, I am a the owner of a very determined sweet tooth. It doesn’t need any help, that is for sure.

Second, I eat like shit. Seriously. I eat a lot of crap from boxes, bars, mixes, etc. Even if it’s not necessarily high calorie or high fat, there’s still not much nutritional value happening there. I really should cook more, for me, for my hubs, and to set an example for my kiddos, even though they’re still little. I should probably count myself lucky that the tater tot likes her veggies and fruits so much!

Next, I treat myself alot. A LOT. And sometimes it’s not just for treat’s sake, sometimes I’m using food to comfort myself. I’ll be honest: This morning I was so pissed off about gaining a pound that I had Zingers for breakfast. And hot cocoa. I know! It’s ridic! I was really mulling the whole thing over while doing my first few tests this morning, and I just decided it was time to be honest with myself about my behavior. Some really bad habits have been creeping their way back into my daily routine, and sure, a good fill would help, but I can’t expect it to do everything. I also have to consider my horrendous family history of heart disease, and I need to start taking care of myself NOW, before there is a real problem. I already have high blood pressure and borderline high cholesterol. I’ve seen too many people in their 30s and 40s have real cardiac issues in my line of work, that there is really no excuse for letting it happen to me. Or at least, I can’t let it be that I go down without a fight. Yes, some things are genetic and can’t be helped, but there are so many lifestyle changes that have real, measurable effects.

So, what am I going to do about this? For starters, I’m going to stick with Weight Watchers for a little while. I like that it’s making me think about what I’m eating, not just how much. Hopefully, with my fill this Monday, the “how much” won’t be an issue for awhile. I’m also going to cut out Crystal Light. I’ll replace it with watered down juice or unsweetened iced tea. While I’m at it, I’ll work on upping my water intake. And I’m going to plan my dinners and actually find some things to cook or put together at night.

Bullet style:

• WW
• more water, less Crystal Light
• real dinners and real lunches

Here’s to a better week, or a least more effort and shaking off the funk!

12/6/10 WW Trial Day 6

Hello people! Well, the WW trial is still going well. The scale is not cooperating, however. I'm starting to think my extreme sleep deprivation is becoming an issue. We are in the middle of a bad patch of sleep with both kids. The tater tot has been waking up between 3 and 4 am almost every night. She'll go back to sleep on the living room floor, but it still means I've woken up. The little guy is having a hard time breathing with all this dry air -- no amount of humidifying seems to help. So he usually wakes up around midnight. Put them both together and you have me not getting more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. This has been going on for two weeks now. Enough about that though...

Last Friday, I had dinner with the fabulous Grace of Grace's Fat Chance. We haven't seen each other since Chicago, and it was so great to reconnect. I forgot my camera, so you will have to wait for Grace to post pics.

That's all I have for now... Honestly? I'm having a hard time concentrating with screaming baby in the background.

12/2/10 Day 2 of WW Trial

How pissed was I this morning when I stepped on the scale and saw... 222?!@ #%@&#@!!!!

But all became clear about five hours later when I started my period.

Back to WW. Today went pretty well. I am actually under my points a bit, but that is mostly because I didn't eat much dinner. I have some wicked bad cramps right now and they make me a little nauseous. For the first time in a long time I had a big salad for lunch. Lettuce, tomato, onion, pepper -- all free. Greek dressing -- not so free. I need to get back in the habit of dipping my fork in the dressing instead of dumping it on my salad. It would've been better to spend some points on some chicken or beans instead of all that dressing.

So, yes, the cramps. I started to think something was seriously wrong with me today. Aunt Flo started this morning around ten. At lunch, I did eleven flights of stairs. About two hours later, my back started killing me, and I noticed some cramping start up too. By the time I left work, I was crying on the phone to my mom. It was so so bad. It was all I could do to hold it together at work and get through the last few tests. I was so close to either barfing or passing out at one point. I got hubs to pick up the kids, and I went home and slept on the heating pad for an hour and half. Luckily, my little rest helped. My back still hurts, but I took some Aleve (bad, I know) so the cramps are gone. Hey, it's not like I can pop a Vicodin when I have to go to work in the morning.

Besides having a crappy afternoon, I'm pretty happy with my food and exercise today. I finally acted on lunch time exercise. I usually have an hour, so there is plenty of time. Now I need this back issue to go away!

On to Day 3!

12/01/10 Day 1 of WW Trial

Today was my first day of points counting and trying out the new WW plan. I know I can't base a real thought-out opinion on one day, but there are some things I like about it. For one, counting points instead of calories, protein, fiber, etc., is much easier on the psyche. I easily obsess over numbers, amounts, is it enough, is it too much, is it balanced, so counting a "point" instead helps me detach myself from some of that craziness. I also like having a new online tool to fart around with. More tomorrow... I'm downright exhausted. I fried my legs and shoulders at the gym today, so hubs is going to help me off the couch to go to bed. Ha!