Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Le sigh

Today I took tater to the dentist (She did so good. I was very proud!), and we met my mom for lunch afterwards. Somehow we ended up talking about my band and my gastroparesis, etc. And, like an idiot, I mention that I would consider revising to the sleeve if it came to that. Ugh. Why did I go there? Of course, my mom then launches into her usual speech about how she knows my patterns and the sleeve isn't a good idea, etc, etc. I really don't understand it, but certain people seem to take every opportunity to list out my flaws and tell me why I'm not losing weight. I just want someone to listen for once. Like I don't know how fucked up I am in the weight loss department, thank you very much. The part that I really can't figure out is why no one sees me shutting down when this happens. I physically feel myself turning off -- isn't it apparent?

Thursday I have an appointment with the nutritionist, which will be awesome because I'll have to own up to not following our plan at ALL. Really looking forward to it.

What the fuck. Just seriously, what. the. fuck.

And, because I feel bad for unloading my darkness on you, I will leave you with a positive: I didn't give in to my sugar cravings. Even when all I wanted to do was lose myself in a bag of peanut butter M&Ms, I came home and had a proper snack instead.


jennxaz said...

I get it...it then turns out you don't ever talk to that person again about those things..which leaves us here to talk about it!

The Dandy Bandy said...

I know we are all far away in blogland but just know we will just listen...and better yet offer SUPPORT! The thing is...we ALL know what you are going through...we are ALL here because of our issues with food. We all believe in you and know it's just a matter of time before you have that "ah-ha!" moment where things seem to click. It will never be easy...or simple..or a peice of cake (yummm cake...) it will always be a challenge...but it CAN be easier... Feel free to bitch..complain.. feel helpless with us all you want. We will cry with you...laugh with you..motivate you..kick you in the rear...everything. :)

Z said...

yup, same thing happened with me and my mother. she made some critical comments (i know she means well) but now i refuse to let her in on my lap band journey.

hang in there. that's what we're here for. to hear you out and be a support group.

Ronnie said...

I love and support you no matter what kind of meal plan you follow or don't! :)

Like I said, moms are our biggest critics... at least she's not critiquing your parenting. My mom likes to do that at every opportunity. Grr. "Like you did such a great job!" I want to say. lol

MandaPanda said...

Ugh...mothers...may we never turn into them. :)

We're here for you...band, no band...sleeve, no sleeve. Your body, your decision, your LIFE. ((HUGS))