Aftermath

It's been about a week and a half since band removal day, and I'm finally feeling back to normal. I felt pretty darn good the first couple days, but then I developed a bad allergic reaction to the glue they used to close the incisions. Not cool. I started oral steroids on Friday (which I was dreading), and today is the first day I feel pretty close to 100%. Heck, I even took both kids to Target with me, and they were so good, I took them to Mc Donald's to play for a bit. Why play inside, you ask? Well, because it's still only 35 degrees up here in the pleasant peninsula. That's Michigan weather for ya.

Anyhoodle, the rash is receding, I have some energy back, and the best part? No tummy problems. I don't want to rub it in, but man is it nice to not have to worry about getting stuck or not drinking right after eating or all that shizz. Yes, I mourn the absence of hunger, but it's been so long since I was on good terms with my band, that I really haven't had that advantage for a while. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm not doing so bad. I'm up about three pounds, but I can't really be too bummed about that what with having surgery and steroids.

Going forward, I don't have too much of a plan in place. My focus is still on getting healthy. Some weight loss would be nice, but I need to get my vitamin deficiencies under control, and make sure my esophageal motility stays corrected. I'm positive with the band gone these things will come. Yes, revising to the sleeve has crossed my mind, but I gotta tell ya, I'm loathe to have another surgery. Consider what my poor body has endured since December 2009: 1 c-section birth, 3 surgical removals of kidney stones, 1 gall bladder removal surgery, 3 EGDs, and 1 lap band removal. I think I've had enough anesthesia to last me a lifetime.

In other news, we're all settled in at the new house. We LOVE it. Now, I just need my sod in place, and my kids will be the happiest little tykes. Also, my mom and my sister and I booked our trip to Italy this September! So there is some good stuff to look forward to!

Another one bites the dust...

Six years and POOF! Gone, just like that. Yes, my dear blog friends, yours truly had emergency surgery Wednesday night to remove my band.

As you might have guessed from my sparse posting, this past year has been pretty crappy for me health-wise. Vitamin deficiencies, anemia, gastroparesis, etc. One thing after another, and it seemed like it would never end. Finally, in February, I found out my esophagus and pouch were dilated. Off I went for another unfill. This made sense as I had been vomiting a lot after only a few bites of food. Shortly after that, I had a gastric emptying study which showed that I do NOT, in fact, have gastroparesis.

I felt a little better after the unfill until this past Saturday when I suddenly got very bloated and achy. It hadn't gotten any better by Wednesday and the vomiting had started again, so I called my band doc. I was sent to the ER. X-rays showed a minor slip, so an Upper GI was next. That''s when we saw the writing on the wall. Even with my band deflated, the barium was just trickling through. Turns out I had developed so much scar tissue under the band, that my stoma could not relax and open up anymore. Me and my band were done.

When I talked to my surgeon this morning, he said things were actually much worse than they had appeared. The slip was much larger, and there was a chunk of food stuck in the secondary pouch. I'm so glad I trusted my instincts and got checked out.

I'm feeling ok right now. I know I will mourn my band a little, but I'm honestly just relieved. I just want to feel good again. There will not be another band for me. Truly, I'm not sure what my options are going forward. Right now though, I'm just going to concentrate on feeling better.

And that's all she wrote!

2013! Let's do this!

Well hello my lovely blog friends! How the heck are ya? It has been a busy holiday season over here, especially with our move coming up in just four short weeks. I know, right? 

I was talking with my girls this morning about feeling refreshed and rejuvenated, and I realized it's been a long time since I looked at my 2012 goals. Let's see how it turned out:

Health

1. Get to Goal Weight: 170lbs - Oh hell. Though I am finally losing again, I ended the year at 226. It's been a not so fun second half of the year.
2. Give paleo-style eating an honest month (at least) of effort - Never really got there 100%, however I haven't touched a bean in about 8 months, and I've cut out about 90% of fake sugars. 
3. Set monthly exercise goals and track consistently (and blog it!). I think this fell by the wayside pretty quickly. Oops. Guess I don't work well  under pressure.
4. Find fitness events to stay motivated to exercise. - Yes! I completed a stair climb and 2 5ks!
5. Take supplements daily. - You would not believe my supplement list. But I do take them daily!

Overall: 3/5. Yay me! 

 

Home

1. Paint and install old headboard. - With the move, I've held off with this because I don't know what color I want it yet. My awesome dad has already stripped and sanded it for me though!
2. Follow the 2012 Organize in 5 Daily Diary. - OMG. Haven't touched this since January!
3. Find a space in the basement to organize crafty items/tools. - I did a Mom2mom sale, and gave away a ton of other things. Some major decluttering/purging happened. In the new house, I will have a spare bedroom that I plan on turning into a guest room / craft room.
4. Carve out a little office niche somewhere in the house. - No need. I will actually have an office!

Overall: Yay for moving!

Work

1. Finish Service Excellence Certification - Getting my pin next week!
2. Do monthly or semi monthly staff morale projects. - I tried a few things, but nothing the staff was all that excited about. Turns out the like it best when I feed them Jimmy Johns every once in a while. Done!

Overall: Yay for finishing something!

 

On to 2013... I still need to organize my thoughts, but I think I'm going to do a similar goal setting deal. I'm going to try to make them more behavior based instead of goal based. 

 

I can't promise I will be blogging a ton this month, but I will definitely be making an effort. Hope all is well out there! 

So much to tell you!

I have so much to catch up on!

First, my stomach. I've been on domperidone (a motility enhancer) for about a week. It does help. When I take it, I don't get stomachaches from eating. Win.

Second, my hormones. I've finished my first period after starting progesterone supplements, and I'm happy to say it significantly lightened my period. It's still nowhere near where I need it to be, but it's better. That should tell you how absolutely awful they are. I also don't think I went crazypants PMS this month either. Win!

Third, my band. My doc finally hired a nurse practitioner for fills and I love her. In her many years of experience with band patients, she told me she's only seen one other person present with gastroparesis post-banding, meaning that it is highly unlikely that the band is causing it. The awesome news is... I have a fill! I'm back up to 1.5ccs, which is historically a really really good spot for me. Most importantly, she gave me hope again. Hope that there is a way for me to make this happen. It was like a huge weight lifted just knowing I have a working tool again.

Last... we have an official closing date on our house!!! January 29th!!! It is way sooner than I was hoping. Now I really have to start packing. Yikes. Here's a pic from last week. Since then they've poured the driveway, finished the shingles on the roof, and installed the windows and exterior doors. So freaking excited!!!

Manifesto

As I was taking a shower today I was ruminating on all my therapy visits, my nutritionist visits, doctor visits, conversations with friends (BOOBs and others) that have occurred over the past six months, and I finally got it. I am doing all the crap one shouldn't do. I'm living in the past. I'm letting past disappointments steer me. I'm in a rut.

You know what? It doesn't matter what anyone else wants. It doesn't matter if my mom is disappointed because I'm fat. It doesn't matter if my husband thinks I'm "unhealthy". All that matters is what I want. And what I want is to live a full life that includes being healthy (so I'm able to live that full life). And if "healthy" means losing weight, then that is what I want. I will not give in to temptations just to spite others. It does not hurt my mother if I eat a pan of brownies. I will not let other people's goals guide me off my path. If my husband has decided running is his thing, it doesn't mean I'm a failure if I just don't love it.

There will be slip-ups. There will be set-backs. There will be chocolate. But there will also be NSVs. There will be self-acceptance. And there will be forgiveness.

I'm not going to make any rules for myself. There might be shakes and protein bars. There might be salads and chicken breast. There might be the occasional Jimmy Johns. There's probably going to be some calorie counting. The main question will always be: Will this get me closer to where I want to be?

I will ask myself that at every turn. And I will read this every day until it sticks.

P.S. I had a great time in Chicago this weekend. As always, it defies words. Thanks again to the planners -- you guys made it what it is. I love you guys!