Monday, January 31, 2011

Back from the doc!

I don't have a leak! I told my band doc about what happened with the interventional radiologist, and he said the guy probably hit an air pocket. Band doc was able to pull out an additional 0.6ccs. So much for being unfilled before surgery, eh?

When he refilled me, he was going to leave it at 1.2, but I begged for a little more seeing as how I'd still been hungry before. I ended up with 1.4ccs. I'm really hoping this one sits a little different and gives me some hunger control.

And get this, he showed I was ten pounds less than when I last saw him in December. Yay me!

We're buckling down for a big storm here. They're saying 2-3" tonight and 8-12" Tuesday night. Yikes! It's too bad I can't work from home. If it really is that bad Wednesday morning, I'm going to try to convince DH to stay home with the kids. No sense in taking them out in that unless you really have to, right? Plus, they never plow very well in my daycare lady's neighborhood. Knowing Michigan (and the weather forecasting), we'll probably just get a dusting. Here's hoping!

Double Good Monday Morning!!!!

Guess what I weighed this morning!!!!!


WTF!!!! I'll take it!

Good Monday Morning!

Well, I've had an interesting weekend. Friday morning (like at 3am) I started with the flu. I still went into work like the dutiful empl/oyee my place expects, only to realize that it was not doing anyone any good. I went home at noon, ate some Mrs Grass chicken soup (yum!) and lazed about on the couch for six hours until hubs got home with the kids. I watched an entire season of this British show called Survivors -- I thought it was pretty good. Anyone with netflix and six hours to spare... check it out!

Saturday morning I was feeling a little better, so I drove out to my in-laws with hubs to drop off the kids for the night. We had been given a Groupon for a wine tasting in town, and I decided I felt ok enough to go. I'm glad I did! The wine selection was really good, and we couldn't believe we never knew of this place. It's a mere 2 miles from our house. My wine rack will not be going empty! Hubs convinced me to go out to dinner, so we went to this new Tex Mex chain that opened up nearby. They have these great puffy tacos with shredded chicken -- so good!

So, I get on the scale yesterday (after I ate some cereal with the tater tot, mind you), and guess what! The scale still said 216.5! Makes me wish I would've weighed before I ate (I forgot). I've noticed with this unfill, that I actually feel more restriction than I did these past few months with fluid in. Isn't that the weirdest damn thing? I wonder if putting fluid in makes it sit a little differently.  I see the band doc this afternoon, and I cannot wait to hear his thoughts on my possible leak.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I did something!

So, 2011, as you can see on my sidebar, is about DOING. And, in a recent post, I admitted I was a self-help junkie and was going to do something about it.

I have been cutting down on my self-help reading, and focusing more on some creative-type blogs and such, but recently I came across Headspace and their Take 10 meditation program. Once upon a time, I actually had a fairly decent meditation practice going. A doctor I was seeing for weight loss (circa 1998) insisted upon a few breathing exercises as part of her program. I loved it, and kept up with those exercises long after I left her practice. Over time though, I let it go. I figured it might be time to add this back in to my life, especially since I am cut off at the moment from "doing" of the exercise sort. Well, I'm three days in and it's going pretty well. If  you remember, I promised that if I read anything of the self help variety, I would do it for at least a week. This program is 10 days of guided mediation -- just ten minutes a day. After that, it appears there is a Take 15 and Take 20 program as well. I'm liking it so far, and I'm already feeling a little less jumpy during the day. I feel like it's already helping me cope a little with the constant discomfort of my stent (seriously, I go through the day feeling like someone is stabbing me in the crotch!). I highly recommend it! Also, check out their 5 short videos about what meditation is and how to (and how not to) do it.

I would love to hear if any of you check it out and try it!

In other news, my in laws are taking the kids for us this weekend. I will be so happy to just be able to lay around and relax. Hub and I are going to a wine-tasting later in the afternoon. Nothing too exciting.

Hope everyone is having a good week! I've been reading your blogs, but not commenting much (hard to do via my phone!).

Monday, January 24, 2011

I'm still here!

Just a quick update...

Kidney stone removal went well. Doc said the stone broke up easily this time, so hopefully I'll only have the stent in for two weeks. I have an appointment on 2/4 to evaluate and possibly have the stent removed. Fingers crossed!

Other than that, I'm just trying to get through. I have a lot of pain in my back this time, on top of the usual bladder discomfort.

One good thing... the scale showed 216.4 this morning! Let's see if I can hold on to that!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Wednesday Wrap Up 1/19/11 - a leak?

Well, here I am with a deflated band again. Poo.

Do you want to know what the scale said this morning? 217.5. Oh yeah, now that I've finally got that bitch moving again, I have to start all over with fills.

I was a little nervous about having someone besides my surgeon poking around in there, but I figured this guy was doing it under flouro and how hard could it really be? Let me just say, my port area is a little sore this morning. I could tell they don't do these unfills very often -- they actually had to go find a key to a locked cabinet where the allergan huber needles are kept! Crazy.

So the doc asks me how much fluid is in there so he picks the right size syringe. I tell him it should be about 1.4 ccs, since that is what I had from my last fill. Guess. Just guess what he pulled out: 0.6ccs. Um, where did it go? Since he was a pretty cool guy and he already had port access, he put some dye in to see if there was an obvious leak. Nada. Apparently, if I do have a leak, it is a very slow one. This is good, because really it just means if I keep up on my appts and get topped off every couple months, I should be ok restriction-wise.

Back to the leak. I was looking around the internets for some info, and I found a page that talked about how people who have had a lot of adjustments sometimes leak right from the port. Well, you know I am the QUEEN of adjustments what with the two pregnancies and now all my surgeries this year. Maybe I need a new port? I will have to address this with my surgeon when I see him later this month.

Monday, January 17, 2011


I am getting myself so stressed out over this whole kidney stone thing and the time off required, which really isn't much. The problem is the unknown. I won't know till after the procedure whether he put a stent in or not, so I won't know if I need a follow-up in a week and then another day off to have the damn thing out in another couple weeks. Our schedule is already done till the end of February, which is why this is such a problem. I also need to get my band unfilled per hospital policy. The only time my surgeon's office could accomodate me is today at 1, except I'm working way across town so would never be able to get there. Now my only hope is that one of the interventional radiologists will do it at the hospital Tuesday or Wednesday, so I can just buzz out of work for a half hour. UGH.

Now I'm growing a giant acne cyst on my chin... that's what happens when I am FREAKING OUT over stupid things.

Really what it comes down to is I feel like I've really pissed off my bo/ss with this. I know she understands, and is willing to be flexible. It's just those unknowns. I can't do anything about it ahead of time, and she prefers that you try to get your shifts covered yourself first. And this band thing... what am I supposed to do? I haven't even had a chance to tell her about the band thing yet -- I was just so focused on getting the day or two off for the procedure.

I could just scream.

Saturday, January 15, 2011


Just as I was starting to get some real restriction... my kidney decides to lob out another GIGANTIC stone.

On Saturday I started feeling like I had to pee constantly, and when that went on for a few days, I started to put the pieces together. I had been having the same intermittent pains as last time, so I decided to just get in to see the urologist. One x-ray and one ultrasound later... 10x5mm stone on my right side again. As it turns out, this stone was there back in August but was still tucked up safely inside the kidney. Now the damn thing has moved down into the ureter. Once again, back to the OR for a ureteroscopy with laser lithotripsy. Please keep your fingers crossed that maybe I won't need a stent this time. That was seriously some of the worst weeks of my life having that thing in.

Of course, general anesthetic means band unfilled. Ugh. That's all I can say. At least I'm already scheduled with the band doc at the end of the month, so I won't have to wait too long to get refilled.

I'm just very very frustrated right now. I've got to figure out what kind of dietary changes I need to make to control this because I just CAN'T do this every five months.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Wednesday Wrap Up 1/12/11 - late again!

Really quick...

Weigh in this week 219.4. At first I was like, whatev. Because, you know, it's not much different than it has been for MONTHS. But then, when I updated my ticker, I noticed that I've actually been moving down 0.2lbs per week for the last few weeks. Well, butter my buns and call me a biscuit... I think we can call that some definite scale action! I'll take it.

In other news, I've noticed more restriction building over the past few days. I'm just less hungry (yay!), and I don't want to eat a lot when I sit down to dinner, especially. Then, last night, I got stuck (yay?) on a piece of chicken. Holy super slime ball... but no barfy. Today, I will stick to liquids for the morning at least, and soup for lunch. It always cracks me up when DH knows I'm having an issue and he'll say, "Are you going to barf?" And I'll say, "I don't know yet." And then he'll say, " Well try not to." As if there is any choice in the matter. Silly man!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011


One of my favorite things in my google reader is the Stepcase Lifehack blog. The articles are usually short and sweet, and there's always something to make you think. Well. As I was browsing their year-end roundup, I came across this little ditty about being a self-help junkie. Know what? I qualify. Oh how it pains me to admit that, but it really is true. It doesn't matter if it is about organization or fitness or healthy eating or whatever. I'll read it, but I probably won't apply it. The list of self-help that I have read is a long one. In fact, my google reader is full of feeds of this type (step one: weed 'em out!). One point the author made that really hit home was that reading self-help material to motivate or get high was not actually doing anything for you. I can relate to the high of reading about some new method or someone's amazing success story -- it does get you charged up! But then what? You still have to go out and do something. WHICH brings us right back to my phrase of the year: Less thinking, more doing. Curing myself of this self-help addiction will spur me into action.

Accountability is king, right? If I read a book or blog entry, I will post about it here, and I will tell you what I'm going to apply from it. First thing I'm going to do is pare down the self-help type feeds in my google reader.

Today is Weigh-in Wednesday, but as it's 4am and the scale is in the bedroom where DH is sleeping, you'll just have to wait!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Late Night Ramblings

Insomniac here... nothing better to do at 4am. If I had a bigger house, I'd do chores or something, but I'd probably wake up the kids so... not happening.

I've been thinking a lot lately about whether or not I want to set any specific goals for myself over the next few months and how aggressive I would make them. In the past year, I've done my best weight loss work when I was just living and not trying to reach any particular goal. In fact, both challenges I joined and the one I made for myself were colossal failures on my part. Do I want to go there again?

The thing is, the structure would probably be good for me at this point. My restriction is still so-so, and I'm not very motivated to exercise a ton right now. DH is losing weight like a mad-man by counting calories and doing laps up and down our basement stairs. (Seriously, he's lost almost 50lbs since last summer!), so at least I have support there. I wonder if I need to just throw myself into something (ya know, less thinking, more doing!) and just not worry about it and, most importantly, not let myself expect to fail.

I went closet shopping this weekend to find something to wear for my little guy's first birthday party. I found this green angora sweater from LB in an under-the-bed storage container. I fit pretty good, and I was pretty happy with how it looked. Except... it's a 22/24 (thanks to my boobs for not shrinking at ALL yet). So, that was a bit demoralizing. Now, I do have some 18/20 shirts and sweaters that fit just fine. I just hate pulling out these clothes that I fit into again and realizing that they are still my "fat clothes".

That sweater is a big reason why I am feeling like I need to set some goals and do the work. I've been hovering between 216 and 220 for six months now, and stick a fork in me, I'm DONE. It's time to move on. I know it's horrible to say, but I noticed myself being a little irritated with DH's weight loss, and that's just pure jealousy. I don't want to be like that.

I'm going to avoid calling this a "challenge" so my brain doesn't get all "Oh hell no" on me. I'm just setting some new smaller goals. I was trying to think of an event coming up, and really, all I have is my birthday in June. I'm thinking I want to be in Onederland by then. It's a measly 20 pounds in five months. I think know I can do it.

In other news, Friday was our 5th wedding anniversary, and DH bought me a tennis bracelet! Whee! He does not buy me jewelry EVER, so this was HUGE! We got my parents to take the kids too, so we had ourselves a little night out. And by night out, I mean we went to dinner, where I got full on five bites of brisket and four sweet potato fries, and then we went to Blockbuster and rented a movie, then we came home and fell asleep by 10:30. Oh yes, we are party animals!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Wednesday Wrap Up 1/5/11 - a little late!

I can't remember what I wanted to tell you guys yesterday... I just got so jazzed when I saw I had 100 followers! And then I had to go put the kids to bed. So I forgot.

Anyway, the weigh-in was less than stellar: 219.6. Same as it ever was. At least I know this number is maintainable without much exercise (cuz my ass is still not doing much). My next fill appointment is January 31st, and it cannot come soon enough. Truth be told, I'm starting to get a little worried that I have a leak or something. Last fill, when my doc pulled out the fluid, he said there was less there than he was expecting. If the same thing happens this time, what does that mean?

Three things:
  • Weight Watchers: I started logging again, and we've been cooking more. I'm trying not to waste my money here. I know I am not really trying that hard because there's no reason I shouldn't lose weight with a band AND doing WW. *sigh*
  • More water, less Crystal Light: I got a 34oz mug from 7-11, and this has been my new best friend at work. I've been averaging 70-80oz a day. Not bad, eh? Even better... I have only had one, yes one, glass of Crystal Light in the last week.
  • More real food, less processed: I'll give myself a B+ here. I've been taking fresh fruits and veggies in my lunches, but sometimes I have a frozen meal too. Dinners are getting better. We've been eating a lot of salads, but we still have a lot of boxes 'o' crap around the house, and there's no reason to waste food. We just try to combine the processed stuff with some fresh veggies.

    My biggest problem with salad is that I am a total dressing whore. I cannot get enough of it. Luckily, I discovered Bolthouse Farms Yogurt Dressing. Check it out... only 50 cals per serving, which means even if I wanted to be a pig and have double, then it's still only 100 calories. For comparison, Ken's Steak House Chunky Blue Cheese has 150 cals per serving. Yikes! That could make or break your week right there eating salad every night!
The doing: Still having fun with Just Dance 2. We should have an online dance off and post some hi-scores! I know, I'm such a nerd.

DH and I are both off work today. We're taking the little guy for his one-year well visit later today. Other than that, I'm not feeling terribly motivated to do much else.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011


Hey, my 100 followers!! Wow!

More on my day later...

Monday, January 3, 2011

The "doing" so far

I wrote a post last night only to have my browser go all wonky on me and, well, no more post. Hate it when that happens.

My hub brought me a surprise late Christmas present yesterday... Wii Just Dance 2! I am loving it! That is my first item of "doing" for this year. I am doing the Just Sweat program, 3 or 4 songs a day. What can I say, I like to dance! And it's better than sitting on my butt, right? I'm counting it as low-impact aerobics and it seems about right. I mean, I like to think of myself as a hardcore gymrat, but seriously, it's been years since I could honestly claim that title. Last time I tried to squat on the smith machine, I threw my back out. *sigh* So, I'm working on being more, shall we say, organic with exercise. Remember, less thinking, more doing. That means less agonizing over what I should be doing at the gym, and more just letting go and having fun a la Wii Fit and Just Dance and whatever else.

I also started food logging again today... recommitted to WW for now. I got the new WW cookbook for Christmas, and we've made a few things already. The turkey meatloaf was delish; Spicy Chickpea Patties... not so much.